Bella's Different Side
by omfg-edward-cullen-is-my-lover
Summary: When Edward leaves, we all know how hurt she is. But does Bella have a different, rebellious side when she starts to realize some things? If Bella does begin to accept his apology later on, will Jacob get in the way? It's better than it sounds here! R
1. Chapter 1 Same Old

**Hey Everybody!!**

**So i got this idea while i was eating dinner.. funny, i know. After Edward Cullen (the love of her and my life) leaves, what is she up to? Of course, Bella is trying hard to accept the idea that he is gone forever. After four months, you finally think she does.. family gets worried..but... when edward cullen returns two years later, is bella THAT much different? has she grown to hate edward the way jacob has? will they ever rekindle their passionate love? A lot more interesting than it sounds, MUCH more detail included, exciting parts. Im expecting to do quite a lot of chapters, but i need reviews to keep me going! :) Set four months after Edward leaves, kind of like new moon, but different. READ AND FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTERS EVER!! (story is in bpov for the first little while, then maybe jacob, maybe edward later on.. :O)**

A FINAL NOTE!!: edward does come back in a few chapters, believe me, i cant stand having him gone either.. im trying to make the first few chapters interesting, i want you to really get involved with what bella feels like, what jake feels like, charlie, etc. if you skip ahead, you wont fully understand what bella has become!! :O

BPOV

"Bells?" Charlie called.

I sat in my room, not thinking, not moving, just wanting this part of me to come back that had been gone for so long. I wanted him back. And I wanted him now.

"Yeah?" I reluctantly half-shouted.

"I'm going fishing with Billy today," The usual.

"Alright," I barely said.

"Bye, Bells!"

I heard the front door close shut and I started to cry again. I curled up into my little ball by the edge of my bed and wept. He wasn't ever coming back. The most important person of my life would never return. I would never see his angelic face again, as if carved by the gods, and I would never hear his satisfying chuckle whenever I blushed. I wanted that back so badly. Nobody seemed to understand.

It had been four months since Edward left – I cringed even at the _thought _of his name – and I was not getting over it. Charlie had been really worried about me recently, I kept telling him I was fine. Besides, Charlie ought to believe it, right? He believes everything I say.. like I fell out of that window when a vampire bit me. But I hadn't died. Why? Of _course. _Because of my savior. At least, he used to be.

Why did everything in my mind link to Edward? Can't there be one single, solitary thought in there that had no connection to this godly being? Apparently not.

I searched my mind for something to take my mind off him – and this was a first. Wallowing in tears and baggy sweat pants had become my new life style, and I was almost positive that Charlie, Billy, and most importantly, Jacob, were at their breaking points. What, would they send me to military camp? A mental institute? Get me a shrink? I didn't want to tell anyone about Edward, and what he had once been to me, what he still is to me. That I didn't get to see the love of my life anymore. That he was gone. Forever.

Nobody wanted to hear that.

"Bella, this has really got to stop." Jacob sat across from me on Charlie's deep red loveseat.

_Red. How perfect._

What, now I was even relating the colour of _blood _to Edward? No, this couldn't be happening.

I shook my head and shut my eyes tight. I could feel Jacob staring straight into my face, trying to see what he could do. Well, sorry to break it to you, but there _was _nothing _anyone _could do. Only, if only he would come back.. I stopped myself right there.

_Stop it. Stop thinking about Edward Cullen. Now._

Who was that?

_Stop it right now. Get back to your real family and friends, Bella._

Who was this talking to me?

I must have looked confused, because Jacob said, "Bells, I don't really think there's anything to be confused about anymore."

I sighed heavily.

"Edward left you in the woods more than four months ago. He left _you._"

"Would you _stop _talking about him like that!" I found myself practically shouting at Jake.

He looked surprised. "Didn't mean to hurt you like that, Bells. I just think it might be time for you to let you, know what I mean?"

I shook my head ravenously. I was never letting go that perfect picture of my angel carved into the back of my mind like stone.

"You can't make me."

My voice sounded darker than I meant it to. In fact, I hadn't really realized I had talked until Jacob shook his head, too.

"What, do you want us to send you somewhere, Bells? Like a _mental institute? _Want a_ shrink_, for God's sake?"

Those words burned into me. No, of course I didn't want a shrink. I didn't want to leave anything in Forks. What if he came back, and didn't find me?

_Bella, he's not coming back._

Stop talking!

I clenched my hands together, trying to get those stupid voices that were now obviously in my head to just shut up. Leave me alone. I don't need anyone else's help.

"I don't need anyone's help!"

Why was I speaking my mind so much lately? I hadn't talked in any other tone than mindlessly bored since he left.. _he left_.

_Stop it, Bella!_

That's it. I had enough. I got up angrily from the couch, mad at Jacob, mad at that stupid thing in my head who kept telling me the truth. I didn't want to hear the truth. I wanted to be with one person so badly in this world, and I felt the clutching at my chest again. I started breathing heavily and had to grab the edge of the staircase for support.

"Bells?" Jake quickly supported me with one of his hands on the small of my back, then reached over to hold my hand.

His heat radiated off him, onto me, and I instantly felt better.

"Don't let go," I found myself crying into Jacob's shoulder a split second later.

"I won't, Bella, I won't."


	2. Chapter 2 Confusion

**hey everyone! so, in the first chapter, youve got your regular bella. what happens in this chapter? will she turn the other way? confused about how she feels? **

**sorry about the short chapters, too, its just i dont want to force together two things that dont really make sense in the same chapter. PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! I can't go on if you don't review sigh dramatically**

KEEP READING!

**BPOV:**

_**Chapter 2:**_

"Bells?" Jacob asked. "You kind of have to go to school.."

"What?" I said groggily, leaning further into Jacob's muscular chest. "School?"

"It's Monday."

"Damn it," I swore under my breath.

"We all feel that way. Let's go."

I felt Jacob sit up beside me, and the bed bounced. "You just keep getting bigger and bigger."

He grinned.

"Give me some time?" I asked, getting up from bed.

"Ten minutes."

I watched the door shut close behind him and I tried to gather up enough strength to go to my dresser and pick out a blatant outfit. Not that it mattered. Nobody important enough was looking at me. Alice wasn't here, so she couldn't scold me. Edward wasn't here, so I didn't even try to look nice. There was really no point.

I caught of a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I opened my top drawer. There were big, almost purple bags under my eyes, and I noticed my irises were a dull grey. Eyes really _do _convey images of people very well. My cheeks looked hollow, and my lips pale.

I just shook my head and looked back down at the dresser, finding a plain brown t-shirt and some jeans.

"I remember when your looks used to be so much better," Jacob said, as I walked into the kitchen. "That bloodsucker, Alice, really did a lot for you."

I froze and closed my eyes again. I'm not going to cry in front of Jacob, first thing in the morning. I used all my strength to keep the tears welling up inside of me to hold back under my eyelids. Don't let them escape. Not now. You're stronger.

Surprisingly, I opened my eyes, only to see Jake staring back at me.

"Sorry, Bells," he quickly got up and rushed over to hug me. "I didn't mean it that way."

"It's okay," I pushed him away.

Wait, what? I just pushed _Jacob Black _away, when he was trying to _comfort _me?

"Oh, okay," he said, seeming surprised.

He quickly composed his face, just like Edward – wait, I didn't just say that. I didn't just say Edward without moving a muscle. Without crouching down in torment, grabbing at that gaping hole in my chest. I didn't just do that.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, and tried it again.

Edward Cullen.

Nothing.

_Edward Cullen. I used to love Edward Cullen._

If there was any way for me to be staring at myself, I would. I had just said Edward Cullen's name over and over again in my mind, even stating that I _used _to love him. Didn't I love him now?

"Let's go to school," I quickly said to Jacob.

I wanted to get my mind off how I was doing this very fast.

"Okay," Jacob obliged and got up from the kitchen table, eyeing me as we walked to the front door.

Picking up my backpack and coat, I wondered over and over again how I managed to do that.

Edward Cullen. _Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen._

_I used to love Edward Anthony Mason Cullen. I used to. _

I stopped dead in my tracks just off the front steps and refused to accept what I had just thought. I used to love Edward Anthony Mason Cullen?

I didn't think so. I thought I was still madly in love him.

"Come on, Bells!" Jacob called to me from the open window of his beat up Rabbit.

I shook my head for the seven millionth time in my life, and hurried into Jacob's car.

**woo, someones different. like the twist? oui ou non? you still dont know how its going to turn out!! review please! merci buckets**


	3. Chapter 3 Chemistry of a Car Crash

**i TRULY TRULY TRULY TRULY APOLOGIZE FOR MAKING THE CHAPTERS SO SHORT!! I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE that in a bit, they will be longer. i swear. I just keep making them short because i feel it would totally ruin the point of the chapter if i answered the cliffie. oops,there's a cliffie? read and find out!**

REVIEWS, PEOPLE! :D :D :D

**BPOV: **

_**Chapter 3: **_

I was having an insanely hard time focusing in Biology. Why did I still take this course? I immediately wanted to jump out of the window. No, I couldn't do that. If only someone were down there, waiting to catch me.. that someone…

_No, he doesn't love you._

I knew that time, that that voice was not someone else's. Not the one I'd been trying to figure out. That was mine. That was my thought.

_Edward forgot about you. Forget about him, too._

I shook my head, and I couldn't help myself when tears started rolling down my cheeks. Shaking my head vigorously and sobbing was _sure _to create a scene. Of course. The absolute last thing I wanted.

"Bella, are you okay?" I heard Angela's familiar voice say to me. I hadn't talked to her in weeks, and I still remembered what she sounded like. I could picture her face swiftly in my mind, like I could picture anyone's face. I wished I didn't have a photographic memory, but immediately took that back, for I wouldn't be able to see Edward, even if just a thought.

_There's no point in thinking about him now, Bella. Edward's gone. He doesn't want you back._

Of course. Then the thoughts started to click together in my mind. Edward Cullen does not want me back. Edward Cullen left, simply because he didn't love me anymore. He didn't want to be around me, he just used my safety as an excuse!

_You're absolutely right._

"Shut up!" I practically yelled.

Realizing what I had just done, I leapt up from my seat, carrying all my books in front of my face, and sped out of the room, as fast as my clumsy legs could take me. Of course, that wasn't such a good idea. I tripped halfway out of the door, and _of course, _Mr. Banner and all my classmates gathered around me.

"She doesn't look so good…"

"I can't believe what that Cullen kid did to her…"

"Never deserved him anyway…"

"Someone call 911!"

Those were all the snippets of the sentences I could catch before I fell into a disturbed pool of black.

"Bella?" Someone said my name. I knew that voice. I would recognize that anywhere, for the rest of my life. "Bella, honey. Please talk, won't you?"

Suddenly, everything flashed around me. Edward was standing about fifteen feet away from me, looking me straight in the eyes. His eyes didn't smolder me anymore. I could look right at him without disintegrating into a blubbering Bella.

"Edward Cullen." I said coldly.

I didn't have any control over myself. I wasn't myself. This was not happening.

"Bella, dear. Don't you love me?" He asked musically.

"Love you!" I spat incredulously. "What would make you think that?"

Edward looked appalled. "I…I…" He stuttered.

I just shook my head and inched closer to him. "Edward Cullen. After what you did to me, you expect me to _love _you?"

Edward's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and he took a step back.

"You're not my Bella."

"'_Your' Bella!_" I sneered. "You talk of me as if I was a pet!"

"I don't understand." The breathtakingly-gorgeous guardian angel stepped back once more, the same look on his face. "I thought you loved me."

"I never loved you."

And with that, it all ended. Everything went black for the second time. I didn't realize where I was, who I was, or what I was?

A vampire? Just like Edward?

That couldn't be possible.. there was no burning.. there was no feeling.. just black. What happened?

**oooh, that leave you hanging? im not a big fan of dreams in books, but i felt i needed to to get the point across about what bella was feeling. youll find out whats "wrong" with bella in the next chapter. promised to be longer!**

thanks, guys! Review and i will love you!


	4. Chapter 4 I'm Fine

**Hey guys!! this chapter is a bit longer, hope you'll like that! It's hard writing without edward... **

**anyway.. im thinking about when to add edward back into the story, if you guys have any ideas, PLEASE write it in your review!!**

**Hope you like this chapter! Reviews, please :D**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own twilight, or new moon. sorry bud. **

"Bella?" Jacob's comforting, warm voice made me smile. "She's smiling!"

In response, I frowned, wondering who else was watching me.

"Bella, I know you're awake. Open your eyes."

I did as he told me to, and saw Jacob Black, hovering over me like the sunshine.

"Jacob," I breathed, putting my hand on his face.

"Woah there, Bells," he laughed. "You've been out for a while."

I immediately sat up, and saw that I was in the nurse's office of Forks High School. How pleasant.

"How did you get here, Jacob?" I asked.

"I heard from some people that you fell or something. I thought, 'Oh, clumsy Bella', but then I realized it might be something serious. So I came over. And here you are, in the nurse's office."

"How did you hear from people?"

"I was coming to pick you up."

"Oh." I didn't remember it being that late in the day.

"What time is it?" I asked him absentmindedly.

I was thinking about something else..

He interrupted my thoughts by answering, "7:00."

"Oh." I said for the second time.

"Where's Charlie? Edward?"

Jacob looked down. I cocked my head, trying to realize what I just said, why Edward wasn't here instead of Jacob…

"Oh."

"Yeah, umm…" he shifted uncomfortably and scratched the back of his neck. "Charlie's just talking to the ambulances and stuff. Want me to get him?"

"No, it's okay. I don't want to get him all startled and stuff."

Jacob just nodded very slowly, still looking thoughtful.

"You sure you don't want to go see someone?"

"Jacob!" I slapped him hard on the shoulder. "Don't say that!"

"I'm worried about you, Bells," he said, looking down at the floor.

"Don't worry." I wanted Jake to believe those words so badly, that he could believe I would be perfectly fine without him. I didn't want to have him be around me like this. I needed time. He knew it. I knew it.

"I just need time."

"I think I might understand," Jacob said, and just when I was going to smile at his understanding, he started again. "I just think I've given you loads of time. It's been _four months_, Bella."

I ground my teeth together. I _knew _that. I didn't want other people to know.

"I know that, Jake," I said weakly.

"Still not letting him go, eh?" he patted my shoulder.

"That's not exactly helping."

Just as I said this, I heard that voice inside my head: _He's gone, Bella. Edward Cullen is gone forever. He loved you. Not anymore. Time to let go._

Then another voice:

_Don't even think about Edward. What did he do to you? Would you like me to remind you?_

I actually thought I might be going insane. Since when did I have two different voices battling inside my own head? I knew somewhere in myself that I needed Edward Cullen back in my life, and another part said that I hated him and wanted him out forever. Just as I was starting to realize this, I clutched at my chest. This was actually tearing me up inside.

"Jake – " I began.

"Bella." He pressed a hot finger to my lips. "Don't."

I stared at him, confused. Oddly enough, Jacob right now reminded me of Edward, back when I had first seen him in my room. I wanted to tell him I was sorry, I wanted to tell him how much I loved him.

I pushed his finger away with all my might, and gushed out the words. "I'm sorry for what I've done to you, Jake. I'm stupid. I'm selfish. I'm horrible. I'm a really bad person. I didn't want to hurt you this way; I want to make you happy. That's it. There's no one else right now that I want to make as happy."

Except myself.

"Please just accept my apology and stop beating yourself up. I don't know if you're going to forgive me, and I probably wouldn't if I were you, but please, Jake, please, just give me a chance."

"Bella, what the _hell _are you talking about!?" he asked, incredulous. "Sorry? For _what_? I should be apologizing to you, heck! That filthy bloodsucker should be apologizing! Not you, Bella. Never you."

Anger swelled up inside me as I heard Jacob call _my _Edward a _filthy bloodsucker_. I struggled to keep from screaming out how much I wanted Edward back, but quickly countered that with my feelings of how I wanted Edward Cullen to never come back in my life again.

_You're hurting me! _I wanted to scream over and over again.

But I couldn't hurt Jacob like that. I wanted him to happy. He was the only one that mattered now.

"Okay," was the only thing I could squeak out of my mouth.

"Good," Jake's face turned back to normal. "Don't talk like that anymore, Bells."

I found myself nodding at his request and hugging him tight. "Don't leave."

He just chuckled. "Like I would ever do _that_."

"So, do you really think I need a psychologist?" I asked him, releasing him from my bear hug.

"Honestly, no," he answered, raising his eyebrows. "I think you're Bella, and you can figure things out. No one's going to boss you around. Bella Swan is going to be okay."

I smiled triumphantly at his words. "You're right, Jacob Black."

"Bells?" I heard Charlie practically knock the door down as he came bursting through the small room.

"Hi, Ch- Dad," I managed to say. The look on his face was pained, and he was obviously thinking I had done something to my head.

"I'm fine."

Charlie looked over at Jacob for reassurance, and when Jake nodded in response, Charlie let out a huff of breath.

"My God, Bells," he said, engulfing me in his arms. "I thought something serious happened to you."

Right. _Nothing_ serious at all had happened to me in the course of four months.

"No, I'm fine," I assured him a second time, wanting my words to sink in.

"Good. Can we get her home, or something?" Charlie turned to the nurse, who looked at me.

"She looks okay."

That's all Jacob needed to un strap me from the hospital bed and take me in his arms, all the way back to his beat up Rabbit I loved the most.


	5. Chapter 5 Hurt

**Short chapter? Maybe so. I dearly promise that longer ones will be coming soon.. and so will another character... heheh.. i wonder who? (I LOVE YOU, EDWARD!) **

**Soo, in this chapter, i think you just finally get it that bellas going crazy. but whos that voice inside her head? is it... some evil person? dont know. is it... BELLA'S DIFFERENT SIDE?? maaaayyybbbeeee. hahaha. So, keep reading, for its got to get a lot better from here on in (i promise)**

**Thanks for enduring the five slightly boring chapters, everyone! THE ANGEL IS COMING SOON!!**

**P.s.: reviews, please. :D**

"I think she's doing a lot better, Charlie," This voice awakened me, and I didn't know whose it was.

"Yeah, maybe so," My dad's voice answered.

"I think she's finally getting over that God-forsaken Cullen boy," The same gruff voice from before said, and I recognized it as Billy Black.

I wanted to sit up and scream. Scream at anyone who tried to call Edward anything negative, for he was mine. Edward Cullen still had that; he was my life.

_Time to let go, Bella._

Stop arguing with me.

_You need to understand that he's not coming back._

Ugh. Get out of my head.

_Not until I can drive this thought through your head._

I don't love Edward Cullen anymore.. I thought, clutching at my chest.

_You don't mean that._

Leave me alone!

Again, I wanted to scream so loud that the house shook. That the world shook, and that wherever Edward was, he would realize what he had done to me, and come back.

I hate you for what you've done, Edward.

_Good job, Bella._

I did not just think that!

_But you did. _

I shook my head, trying to get all these thoughts out of my head, and realized that Charlie and Billy still didn't know I was awake, and now arguing with some stupid voice in my head now that I had heard them.

"Bella?" Charlie was immediately at my side.

"Hi, Charlie," I managed to groggily say.

The squeaking of Billy Black's wheelchair moving forward was a sure sign he might be interested in my condition.

"Hi, Billy," I sat up this time, and my chest burned. My head heaved.

"Wow," I sat back down. "Can I have some water, please?"

"Course, Bells," Charlie moved over to the counter and poured a glass of ice cold water fresh from the tap.

I drank the water gratefully. "Thirsty much?"

I heard Jacob's voice suddenly, and he was by my side.

"Hey, Jake!" I hugged him.

"Hey there, Bells." He smiled and refilled my glass.

Jacob, Charlie and Billy stood over me, and for the first time, I realized I was on the couch in the little living room.

"What time and day is it?" I asked suddenly.

"Wow, you're really out of it. It's 10:30 on Sunday." Charlie responded.

"Oh." I blushed.

"So, Bella," Billy said. "How are you these days?"

"Okay," I told him, not wanting to mention how I'd heard his conversation with Charlie just minutes ago.

"Good." Billy seemed content with just that answer, and I was slightly surprised at how he didn't ask more questions about Edward.

_They're not coming back._

Want to shut up?

How did this voice keep finding all my weaknesses about him and spitting back rude remarks about the truth? I knew Edward Cullen and his amazing family, Rosalie included, were not coming back to the dreary town of Forks. I knew that. Why did it have to rub it in so much?

Jacob looked at me, puzzled, still trying to concoct a reason in his head about why I kept acting this way. His look soon faded away, and I thought he was reminding himself that I was Bella Swan, and I could do anything I set my mind to. Even forget about the perfect angel that once lived in my life.

Billy was murmuring to Charlie about something I couldn't really hear. I suggested to myself that it would be about me and 'the Cullen boy', and reminded myself I probably didn't want to hear.

"So, Bells," Jake broke the silence that formed between us, since Charlie and Billy were off in their own conversation. "Want to go to the Rez today?"

"Sure," I responded, sitting up.

The pain that I had been slightly aware of returned, crushing me back down. My bones ached, my head ached, and mostly, my heart.

'_Gone hunting, I'll be back before you can miss me. Take care of my heart.'_

He never had to sign it. I wished for once that I could go upstairs and find that note in my room, sitting quietly on top of my dresser. I wanted so badly to read it, to know that Edward loved me still, and that he was coming back.

_Snap out of it, Bella._

Okay, honestly, if I didn't get these voices out of my head soon, I was going to go more nuts than I already was.

"Let's go, Jake," I said, ignoring the pain that burned through me and sitting up.

He just nodded and called to Billy, "We're going to the Rez!"

"Okay!" I heard Charlie call back, and then they continued their secret murmuring.

"What do you want to do down there?" Jake asked as soon as we were settled in his legendary vehicle.

"Just walk along the beach," I admitted. I wanted to rid my head of those stupid voices and just be with Jacob, the only person that could make me happy anymore.

"Sure thing, Bells," he said sweetly.

Why could this boy be so sweet? He was not breathtakingly stunning, I'll give you that, but he was _cute_. I had never really thought of Jake in a way that I loved him, but I was sure he had. Jacob was like the sunshine to my life; ever since my heart left.

I slipped my fingers quietly through my jacket sleeve, to find my wrist. I pressed my fingers against it and waited.

I still had a heartbeat.

How strange.

How could that even be real?

_You're so over-dramatic Bella._

"Shut up!" I screamed so loud I made Jacob stop the car and curse.

"What's wrong with you, Bella!?" he secured me to my seat by holding me firmly by the shoulders.

His eyes were frantic, searching for some image or expression on my face that clearly wasn't there.

I wasn't about to let anyone know that I was going mentally insane.

"I'm really sorry, Jake," The tears poured out. "What _is _wrong with me?"

I was yelling at myself now, and to no surprise, Jacob didn't like it.

"Stop blaming yourself, Bella. It's not your fault. It's – "

He stopped there because I was glaring at him.

"Don't say that sentence." I said coldly.

_Let him say it. You know it's true._

My teeth clenched together and my eyes snapped shut. Immediately, thousands of images of my angel standing before me, poured through my mind. I wanted so badly to let them go, to tell myself I couldn't have them, simply because he didn't love me anymore.

Jake didn't speak, and I assumed it was because I looked so damn scary right now. My hands were balled into tight fists; my face hard.

It felt like everything had stopped, including my heart. I wanted to stay that way, to just know that nobody was there, to know that I could stay this way. I didn't have to see anybody. Nobody was there to bug me.

_Good job._

**woooahhh. intense much? hope so!**

**what happens wehn edward comes back?**

**So, to make me feel better nd keep writing, review!!**

**You know how much i love reviews. :D THANK YOU GUYS!**


	6. Chapter 6 Uncomfortable

**A/N: Alright, so this chapter is a bit longer (hopefully). I will give you an explanation at the end of the chapter heheh..**

This dark room was sucking me in. Without Jake here by my side, warm and comforting, I couldn't tell where I was.

"Jacob?" I called out into the utter darkness. "Jake?"

No response.

"Please?"

Silence.

I sunk back into my bed, burrowing my face in the pillow. Just then, I heard a sharp snap outside the window that jolted me up into sitting position.

"Jake?" I called, breathing uneven. My heart was working faster.

"Jacob… Black?" I said louder.

No answer, and I heard some snow crunching.

Who was out there?

I don't know why I said it, but I had to. "Edward?"

_Ha! He would never come back for you._

"Shut up," I growled.

The person – or thing – shifted its weight, and I heard the snow crunch down more.

"Hello?" I peeped.

What if someone was trying to break into my house? I shouldn't be talking to them. Now they knew I was in here. All alone. With no protector. He didn't care anymore.

I sighed, and decided to lie back down. They weren't about to jump in my window, right?

Wait. But if they were standing outside _my _window in the middle of the night, why wouldn't they be in here already? Was someone trying to talk to me?

I couldn't resist, so I got out of bed and crept to the floor without making a sound. I snuck over to the window and raised my head a bit, and was surprised by the cool, icy air that flowed suddenly through the window.

Falling back onto the floor I made a little _thud._ Uh oh. Did he/she/it hear me?

I regained my balance and courage, and stood back up on my knees again, peering out into the cold, eerie darkness.

What I saw, I wasn't expecting.

There was no one there.

_Just your imagination, Bella._

"No it wasn't," I growled under my breath.

I watched out the window for a few more seconds, sure that nothing was there, and then fully stood up. My heart beat so fast I thought it would pop.

No one was out there, it was obvious now. Or, whatever had been here was already gone. But how was that possible? I heard the sounds just seconds ago, and there would have been a lot of noise if someone was running.

That brought a thought to my head.

_No, Bella._

Right. Edward wasn't coming back.

I crept away slowly from the window, not wanting to make more sound. I wanted to shut it, to stop the icy wind from blowing in and reminding me of something I didn't want to be reminded about, but I knew I couldn't. That thing would hear me.

Shaking my head, I climbed back into my warm bed, and waited to be comforted by the Jolly Heat Giant.

He wasn't here either.

_Stupid Bella._

This voice really liked being mean to me, eh?

Pulling the covers up to my nose, I remembered the times when Edward would climb inside my room, with Charlie unaware, and sleep by my side. He would cradle me in his arms, until he thought I was too cold, and he'd put me back under the covers, tucking me in tight.

I missed that.

_How many times do I have to tell you to stop it?_

A lot, I guess.

Somehow, it didn't quite bother me _that _much that I had some dumb voice in my head talking to me. I knew I was insane. Other people didn't have to know it. Jacob didn't have to know it. Charlie didn't have to know it. Heck, Angela Weber didn't have to know it.

I was the only one.

That feeling of constant loneliness swept over me like it had many times before, and I just wished and wished and wished that I could be back in his arms. One more time. That's all I needed.

--

I drifted off into an uncomfortable sleep, where I kept waking up to sounds I didn't recognize. I thought Charlie might be up, getting ready for his usual fishing trip, but then quickly realized it was still dark outside. Great.

Was Jacob here?

I didn't even let my mind think about the others that might be, firstly because it scared me, and secondly because I knew I was going to get that stupid voice yakking again.

I had been remembering Edward's perfect features, the way he looked when he waited for me every morning, when we were in the meadow, when Charlie opened my door just the tiniest bit and slipped his face in.

"Bells?" he whispered.

I rolled over on to my side, hoping that he wouldn't know I was awake, and pretended to be in heavy sleep.

Charlie believed it. What else was new?

He left the room quickly, and I heard him sigh. I guessed that seeing me sleeping was the happiest time for him because I wasn't being my usual self, which was monotone and generally unfriendly.

After I was sure that Charlie had left half an hour ago, I crept out of bed and walked over to the still-open window.

It was a sunny day for Forks; the sun was peeking out just a bit from under the clouds. That made me slightly happy.

Sunshine was always a good thing, right?

Just as I was smiling and thinking that today could be a relatively good day, I heard a sound from below, and realized my face was hanging over the window. I pushed my head back inside the safety of my room and looked around. No one was in here, at least I thought.

If Edward was here, he could be sure.

_But he's not here. Stop thinking like that, Bella._

This voice was right. If I didn't stop relating every issue to Edward Cullen, I was never going to get over it. Not like my heart was going to mend fully ever again, though. But at least it was a start.

"Hey, Bells!" His voice caught me totally off-guard and I shut the window on my finger.

"Ow!" I cried out in pain because I'd snapped the window shut so hard.

"Bells?"

I heard Jake pounding up the stairs, probably thinking that I'd fell and cracked my head open against my desk.

I looked at my finger and it started bleeding. Just little drops of blood, but I knew this wasn't good for me. My head started to spin, and Jacob caught me in just the nick of time before I fell to the ground.

I didn't black out, though. Maybe that was a good thing. Or maybe not.

"Bella, are you okay?" Jake sounded genuinely concerned, and I was sure he was, but I just stared at him.

"Blood."

"Oh, yeah. That's ok. It's just a bit." He picked up a tissue from my desk and wiped the blood away in five seconds.

I could still smell the horrible smell of blood, the way it smelt, like rust. I hated that smell so much.

Blood was the worst thing in the universe.

It had been the reason that Edward had left.

I shoved my face into my hands, and Jacob lifted my head back up. "Bells, are you sure you're okay? Don't want to go see Dr. Mulligan again, or anything?" He half-joked.

I just nodded and set my head in my hands, not wanting to cry in front of him again. I'd done that too many times before.

I decided that I should get my mind off all this blood and discomfort it gave me, and brought up a new subject. Not that this one was any more comforting.

"Jake," I said. "I heard noises last night."

I watched Jacob's expression carefully. It turned from wide eyes, to confusion, to anger, and then to a scared look.

"Who?"

"I would tell you if I knew."

"Oh…"

He looked out the window, as if someone was going to pop up any second. "Are you sure, Bella? Not just your head again?"

_Not just my head again. Nice._

"No, Jake," I assured him. "I swear."

"I'll look into that, then," he shifted his weight, squinted his eyes, still holding the Kleenex on my finger.

I nodded slowly, not even sure what he meant by that. _I'll look into that?_

Would he be standing outside my window every night? No, he would get too cold.

"What are you going to do?" I asked him, frowning.

"I've got a plan," he reassured me, squeezing my finger tighter.

"Ow," I said quietly.

"Whoops." He grinned. "You're so breakable, Bells."

No kidding.

**alright, so. i got a few reviews (its not enough compared to the hits im getting, people!) but THANKYOU to the guys who did give me reviews. anddd. i made this chapter a bit longer, and I APOLOGIZE FOR EDWARD STILL NOT HERE YET!!**

**im actually like tearing my head apart thinking of when edward to come back.. should i do a time lapse till bella gets fully "no i hate edward now" like jacob? (i am not planning for bella to fall in love with jacob, believe me.) so if there was a time lapse, edward would coem back sooner.. haah i know thats what all of you want... but you could clarify it by REVIEWING!!**

**Ok, im thinking about what to do now to get e.c. back in the game, so as i JUST said, review and my life will be easier (i have so much homework its not funny). **

R&R! 3


	7. Chapter 7 Realization

**oookay! so this chapter is promised to finally clarify what bella is feeling now...**

**read and find out!!**

**BPOV as always:**

_**Chapter 7:**_

I was rested at my favourite spot (other than Edward's cold arms) at La Push. It was where my personal sunshine, Jacob, had told me the legends of his tribe so many months ago. Where he had told me that Edward was a vampire.

I sat with my back against the oddly shaped tree, with Jake sitting beside me, his heat radiating off his body at all times.

"How do you stay so warm?" I asked suddenly.

"Oh.." he mumbled. "umm.. I don't know. I'm just like that, I guess."

I was satisfied enough with that answer and let it drop completely.

We sat there in comfortable silence for what seemed like an hour; I guess we were both pondering what had happened.

I knew in Jacob's head it sounded something like this: _"Look at what this stupid bloodsucker did to her. That Cullen kid left her in the woods, and heck, this is how she looks like now. It's good to see her smiling again, and stuff, but it's just not the same. I swear, if I ever see that kid again, I'll pummel him."_

Of course, I knew that Jacob couldn't even try to hurt Edward. Firstly, because I would be in front of them, stopping the fight. And secondly, because Edward was as hard as stone and could kill Jacob with one hand.

Not that I ever wanted him to.

In my head, this is what I thought of Edward Cullen: _"I love him. I love him so much it hurts. But, on the other hand, I can't believe he's gone.. in a.. good way. It's good that he's gone. I don't want him here anymore after what he's done to me. No way. Edward Cullen is staying out of my life."_

It still occurred to me that I was thinking this, and it grabbed me by the shoulder and shook me hard.

I didn't _want _to think this. I wanted to think that Edward loved me, that he wanted me back, that I wanted him back, that he was coming back.

That simply wasn't the case.

"Want to go skip rocks or something, Bells?" Jacob looked over at me.

"Sure," I replied, and got up easily, although not wanting to leave my perfect sanctuary.

I followed Jacob to the water's edge, and he picked up a few very round looking stones.

I figured he was a pro at this, and stepped back.

I was amazed at all the skill he had in him to do such a simple thing as skip rocks.

He put one foot forward, the other back, with his knees slightly bent, and one hand forward in front of him. The other was placed beside him and out, with his hand grasped around the rock. With one simple movement of his feet and a flick of his wrist, the stone was sent skipping across the serene water.

"Nice," I commented, after he had skillfully flicked all three rocks into the deep.

"Want to try?" He taunted. "Let's see you do five stones without one of them falling."

"Are you kidding?" I gawked at him. "You don't know me."

Jacob laughed heartily. "You know I'm joking, Bells. Honestly, let's try to see you do some, though. I'll help you."

He pulled my hand towards him and locked himself around me in the position of throwing a stone. I looked up at him and smiled.

"Like this…" he explained, moving my hand with his.

I threw the stone forward and it landed halfway in the water. "Nice try."

I laughed, and he handed me another one.

This time, it landed fully in the water.

"Try it by yourself, now."

Jake backed up and let me try and skip the rock.

Of course, trying to imitate that same skillful flick of the wrist and twist of the hand, didn't work. The rock landed at the water's edge.

"Almost there."

I tried once – twice – three more times, and they never made it in.

"I can't do it," I told him, moving to go hug him.

Just as he gripped me in his bear hug, I felt a rumble – it sounded like thunder.

"Whoah!" I shouted, jumping back agilely. "What was that? Is there thunder? We should go."

"That wasn't thunder, Bells!" Jacob explained between roars of laughter. "I was laughing!"

"Oh," I blushed. "Sorry, Jacob. You're kind of like the Hulk."

"The first time I've heard that one," he still laughed, and began to come and hug me again.

I ducked out of his way and made a run for it playfully.

"Oh, you're not going anywhere, Swan!" he said between peals of full hearted laughter, running up behind me. I knew I was going to be caught in less than ten seconds, so I ducked out another way and began to run at full speed, laughing all the way, forgetting all my troubles.

_Very good, Bella._

I didn't stop dead in my tracks like I should have, instead, I kept running, laughing all the while, with Jacob, behind me roaring still.

"You'll never catch me!" I taunted him myself now, wagging my finger in front of him.

He smiled his big ear-to-ear grin and ran harder.

"Got you!" Was all I could hear when Jacob tackled me to the ground seconds later.

Mud got all over me, water splashed in my face. I didn't care. I was with Jacob right now.

Laughing with Jake seemed like the most wonderful thing to do right now. It felt so right, lying in the mud with him, his chest still rumbling in laughter, him being so warm. This is the only time something has felt purely right since Edward have left.

And that was when it hit me.

I didn't need Edward Cullen back in my life.

I realized who the voice talking was, my subconscious.

I had been right all along, and just not knowing it.

Edward Cullen was pushed out of my life now, and I didn't need him. I was a strong person. Of course I could get through it. I already had. Jacob was my sunshine now, my best friend. He's all I needed to survive.

That filthy bloodsucker was gone now.

_Told you so. _

My lips curved up into a smile.

**Oooh. And to clarify for all you, NO, Bella is NOT in love with Jacob. Ew. No. Not them.**

**Hehe. Soo.. find out what happens next tomorrow!**

**thanks, guys! keep the reviews coming!**


	8. Chapter 8 Free

**Alrighty. So. Read this chapter and tehn i have a note for you at the end... :O**

**DISCLAIMER: any words/phrases used in this story DOES NOT MEAN I AM STEPHENIE MEYER. For i am not stephenie meyer. thankyou.**

**BPOV:**

"Let's go cliff jumping! Or rock climbing! We could find some motorcycles.."

"Bella, what's gotten into you?" Jacob asked, sitting across from me at the kitchen table. I thought he meant to look stern and big, but he was grinning.

"Look, Jake," I said, smiling. "I want to have fun. And it's a nice day."

Jacob turned his shoulders and squinted out the small white windows. "It's sunny. Wow."

"Exactly," I replied, shoveling some more eggs into my mouth. "This doesn't happen every so often."

"You're right, Bells…" he said. "Got any bacon?"

I laughed and reached over to punch his arm. It hurt my hand more than his arm.

"Let's go," I urged, getting up from the table with a mouthful of eggs. "I want to get started early."

He looked considerably deep in thought, rubbing his chin. "Okay," he finally said, looking up at me. "You've got to listen to me, though. I don't want you killing yourself."

"Got it," I replied cheerfully, practically running over to the doorway to get my flip flops on.

This morning when I had got up, I secretly slipped on a bathing suit underneath, already planning I was going to convince Jacob to take me cliff jumping.

I was wearing light brown khaki shorts and a yellow t-shirt. I didn't care how dirty it got.

We shuffled into his Rabbit seconds later, and I was practically bouncing out of my seat. "This is going to be _lots _of fun."

Jake looked over and smiled at me, and I knew what he was thinking. He was probably happy that I was letting Edward go. That I was getting used to life without him; in fact, I liked it better.

By the time we got to the cliff by Jake's house, I was so excited I thought I was going to burst.

Of course I was really scared though.

I mean _really_ scared.

"Let's go, let's go!" I urged him, running over to the great slab of grey rock.

It was better that I confront my fears now, and besides, I bet I'd have lots of fun..

"Bella." Jacob grabbed me by the shoulder as I stared out into the open sea. "You've really got to listen to me. You just jump off a rock, you're probably going to die."

I smiled. "Okay. Fine. Show me what to do."

Jacob slipped off his shirt effortlessly, revealing a six pack.

"Woah, Jake!" I exclaimed. "Since when do you work out?"

"Oh," he said, smiling even bigger. "Does my half-being naked bother you?"

I was smiling now, too. "Not even the slightest."

"Okay," Jacob said, getting more back on topic. "When you're jumping off a cliff, you don't want to just step forward and fling yourself off. You'll die that way because of the way you'll hit the water. So – " He leaned over the edge of the rock, looking fearless. "Pick a spot below."

I nodded, and stepped carefully over to where he was. I looked out over the calm water and pointed to a dark spot. It was supposed to be deep, right?

"Cool. Now, you take a few deep breaths, and – " Before I could say anything, he flung himself off the cliff.

He was moving really, really fast, but I struggled to see how he was in the air. Jacob's legs were crossed, and his arms were folded against his chest. One hand was cupped over his chin, and he sat gracefully in the air for a few short seconds until I heard a giant splash below.

"Woohoo!" I heard him say minutes later, appearing from the now-frothy water.

"That looked like so much fun!" I half-lied.

I was really scared for my life but I was also really wanting to do this. It didn't look too hard – Jacob landed effortlessly, and I was sure if I copied him exactly, it would be much easier.

"I'm going to come up the bank over there," he shouted.

I looked over the edge and nodded. I would wait until he got back up.

Seconds later he returned.

"Go for it, Bells," he smiled. "I know you can do it. I'll jump in after you if you start to choke, too."

Like that made me feel any better. "Thanks, Jake." I took one more step towards the edge of the cliff, and took two deep breaths.

Then I jumped.

The feeling of gliding through the air like that is amazing. About two seconds in, though, I realized the position I should be in, and struggled to do that while flying through the crisp, cold air.

About three seconds later, I hit the water with a deafening splash. I thought I was going to be sucked under, and I was going to die.

My head lifted above the icy water for a few seconds, enough to hear Jacob cheering. "Way to go, Bells!"

I smiled, even though I had no clue where I was. I struggled to stick my head up and fill my lungs with the air I treasured so much now.

"Jake!" I managed to cough.

Finally, my back hit something sharp, and it jolted the remaining water out of my lungs. My back was perched against the tip of the rock, and although it hurt, I could see Jacob up at the top of the cliff, waving his hands frantically and shouting. I smiled. "I'm okay, Jake!"

I began to swim towards the bank where he had come up, which obviously, was not easy with the heavy Pacific current pushing out.

Water caught in my lungs and it was hard to breath at some points, but I finally managed to crawl my way onto the bank of sand. Jake came running down through the trees seconds later.

"Bella!" he shouted, grinning. "That was awesome!"

"Yeah, thanks," I sputtered. "Ouch."

My hand slowly reached over to my lower back, and it was tender at the touch.

"You looked like you hit your back there pretty hard," Jacob said, moving forward.

His brows pulled together as he pulled up the back of my now-blood stained and wet yellow shirt.

"Yikes."

"Great," I dragged. "Do I have to go to the hospital, again?"

"Nah, it's okay. Just a few scrapes. No big, just don't barf," he lifted me up with his strong arms. "Was it fun at the very least?"

I hadn't really combed over how fun it was. It was _really _fun.

I remembered the wind whooshing through my hair, and the sound of everything mixed together. The sound of the waves crashing beneath me, the birds squawking, Jacob cheering, and just pure wind. The joy it gave me was unbelievable. It was like all my thoughts and worries were being sent down, down, into the depths of the water, and sinking. Staying there.

I smiled hugely at Jake. "Can we go get these fixed so that I can do it again?"

"Sure," he responded, fully lifting me up to stand on my feet. I wobbled a bit, but regained my balance easily.

Was I becoming less clumsy?

Nah, that could never happen.

I shrugged at my own thoughts and started walking with Jacob.

**OKAY. soo.. i've got a plan for the big chapter 9...**

:O

**WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT IT IS??**

**STAY TUNED AND REVIEW!! im happy that ive gotten so many hits and visitors, but not a lot of reviews. do you like it? if not please dont send a review giving loads of hate and no constructive critiscim. I would appreciate it. So, next chapter (something good and yummy) heheheh.**

**ADD ME TO YOUR ALERTS LIST SO I CAN NOTIFY YOU WHEN THE NEXT CHAPTER COMES!! (today or tomorrow - school is a bitch.) 3**


	9. Chapter 9 Changes

**OKAY there IS some edward in this chapter... just not in the way you think.. heheheh..**

**BPOV:**

_**Chapter 9:**_

"Bells, something's happened to you." Jacob said, glancing at me as he drove.

"What?" I asked, looking at him.

We were on our way to my house, and it was dark outside. We'd spent the whole day cliff jumping. I had to admit, I was getting better at it.

"Well…" he trailed off, looking out the window, obviously trying to distract himself.

"Spit it out, Jake," I demanded.

He looked at me warily. "What made you get over Edward so fast?"

"Easy." I replied, smiling. "He was stupid for letting me go like that"

"You're absolutely right," Jacob grinned. "I'm glad you know that now, Bella. He was never good enough for you."

"I always thought he wasn't good enough for _me_," I said, laughing. "What a joke."

Jake seemed overjoyed now. "This is awesome, Bells. We can have so much more fun without him. I'm _really _happy you got over him. He's dumb."

For once, I didn't try to punch Jacob, I didn't try to yell at him, I didn't do anything. I just smiled and nodded my head in complete agreement.

"Yeah. Want to skip school on Monday and go to Seattle?" I couldn't believe what just came out of my mouth.

But I wanted to do it.

I wanted to have fun with Jacob.

"Bells, are you sure?" Jake looked over to me again. "Are you failing, or something?"

"No," I responded. "I can keep up perfectly fine."

"Then let's go."

--

That night, I had the most perfect dreams.

Jake and I were in his Rabbit, plowing along the highway to Seattle, Monday morning. Rock tunes were pouring out the windows loudly, annoying other cars as they passed. I just laughed. I was having the time of my life.

"Woohoo!" Jacob cried, opening the sun roof. "This is awesome, Bells."

"I know!" I exclaimed, smiling so hard it hurt. "We should do this more often."

Jake's face suddenly became more serious. "I can't let you skip school _all _the time."

"What are you, a mini Edward?" I mocked, laughing.

"Me? Never," Jake insisted, grinning now. "I just don't want you to fail grade eleven."

"Gotcha." I said, looking out the windows.

I could see the green swooshing past us, and surprisingly, it was kind of a nice day. It was cloudy, but there was no rain yet. Good enough for Forks.

"What are you thinking about doing?" Jacob asked, thrumming his hands carelessly against the steering wheel.

"Don't know. Let's just drive around," I suggested, still grinning.

He shrugged and continued to sing along to the words of the song I didn't know, but was enjoying none the less.

Life had become so much better with Edward not here. I was enjoying my free time more, and he wasn't bugging me about stuff.

Not to mention, I didn't have somebody wanting to kill me 24/7.

Life was good.

--

**EPOV:**

I stared at the flecks of dust collecting on the ground. Life wasn't getting any easier. It was getting harder as the days went by.

"Edward?" I could hear Alice's obnoxious little voice ringing from downstairs.

I didn't reply.

Nano seconds later, I heard her bouncing up the stairs.

"Edward," she looked at me, coming in the room to sit by my side.

"Don't even think about it," I spat, reading her thoughts.

"When are you going to break out of your trance?"

I felt a rumble building deep inside of me. How dare she ask that question? My brows furrowed and the growl was on the tip of my tongue. But I held back. For Alice. For Bella.

"I'm just saying, maybe you should go back and visit her…"

"No!" I roared, my reflex reaction.

When I'd made this promise months ago to Bella, I meant it. I was going to do what was best for her. I was going to leave her alone.

She would get over it. She was probably over it by now, anyway. I hoped she was.

But somewhere deep in the pit of my heart, I was hoping so greatly that she hadn't. That she still had that unconditional love for me, even though I was a horrible monster.

How I would love to go back and hold her in my arms…

I shook my head.

"No, Alice."

"Why, Eddie?" she sang.

"Alice, get out. Now." My jaw clenched together.

_Jeez, Edward. You don't have to be so mean._

She shook her head this time, hopped up, and skipped lightly out of the room.

Stupid little pixie.

What was the point of going back, anyway? Bella would just yell at me, and Charlie would surely not be happy. They didn't like me anymore.

I bet Bella was now in love with that Quileute kid. How could she?

I didn't even have time to get mad at her, because I loved her too much. I wanted to be by her side again, my arm around her petite hips, feeling the warmth coming off of her, the sweet scent of her strawberry shampoo..

Surely, even with every way I strategized, she would be outraged with me for coming back.

She couldn't love me anymore.

_You never know, Edward._

Alice again.

I was just about to get up from my spot and go yell at Alice when she saw my actions.

_Don't even think about it. I just want you to know you might be interested in going back and checking on her.._

"She wouldn't want me there." I yelled loud enough for every vampire in the house to hear.

_How do you know?_

"Get up here."

My overly-happy sister skipped in the door a second later.

"Think of what I've done to her," I answered, my eyes tightening.

I read the first thought that popped across her mind: _She loves you._

"Alice, you don't know anything!" I roared, standing up.

"Maybe not," she said in a smaller voice. "I do think she loves you, still."

"I know what you think."

"God, get out of my head, Edward!"

"She doesn't love me."

_You're arguing with yourself, now._

She was right.

I didn't know what to believe; if Bella really didn't hate me, or if she did. My thoughts were always leaning towards the _did_ side.

Maybe I _should _go back and check. One little check wouldn't hurt.

I would observe her from a distance, she wouldn't even notice me.

Then I would leave quickly.

That's exactly what I would do.

_You're such a smart boy, Eddie._

I gave one last glare to Alice and took off running.

**alrighty so i just wanted to give an introduction to the next chapter, to let u know what edward was thinking so its not a huge surprise.**

**and how bella has totally blown him off.**

**what will edward think when he sees bella like that? with jacob? oooh. i see a huge conflict happening...**

**the next chapters gonna be big, so i must write it tomorrow (lots of hw). **

**thanks for the reviews, updates, and subscribers!**


	10. Chapter 10 Confrontation

**Alrighty... Sooooooo... hehehe. read this chapter and give REVIEWS!!**

**BPOV:**

_**Chapter 10:**_

"Can we hang out tomorrow?" I asked Jacob, as he made a sharp turn onto the freeway, heading towards home.

"For sure," he replied, grinning. "It was too fun."

"Yeah. I'm going to fail Biology if I don't study." It was only six o'clock, but Jacob was driving me home anyway because I had to study for my Biology test.. which I'd forgotten was tomorrow. And, simply because I didn't want Charlie to ask why I'd gotten home so late, If I'd stayed later.

In ten minutes, Jake had made it into the 'downtown' of Forks; where little shops were lined up against the main street. Streetlights bordering the sidewalks were dimly lit, and only a few people were walking along the sides of the road.

Nothing new for the sleepy town of Forks.

"Okay, then I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Jacob said, pulling onto my street.

"Yeah, definitely. Bye, Jake. Thanks!" I grinned widely, hopping out of the car and heading up the driveway.

No lights were on in the house, and I assumed Charlie wasn't home.

Phew.

Opening the front door, I stopped short in my tracks and instantly regretted what I'd just thought.

My stomach lurched forward and my I had to hold onto the still open door for support.

What was _he _doing in_ my _house?!

I was just about to crumble to the ground, but an icy pair of arms caught me instantly.

_No._

_This isn't what I wanted._

I wanted to fight back, to hurl him across the room and yell at him.

But I didn't have the strength.

It took me everything just to regain my balance slightly and open my eyes.

"Bella?"

As soon as I heard his velvet voice again I was breathing heavily.

Not in the ways I used to; when I started to hyperventilate over his gorgeousness, but in the way that I was about to burst.

"Let go of me!" I managed to choke out.

His arms dropped in a second. "Bella…"

It was like all the anger was flaring inside me now, ready to come out. For the first time, I really saw what it was like.

Edward was standing in front of me, a look of pain and confusion scribbled across his face. His topaz eyes were dull, and he was frozen in a position that would catch me if I fell again.

"Why the _hell _are you in my house!?" I screamed, feeling the heat building up.

"I….I…" Ha. So I'd finally rendered Edward Cullen speechless.

"You have no reason to be in here! Get out, now!" I was shouting at the top of my lungs.

He blinked several times, bewildered, and took a step back. Then he quickly regained his composure, looking straight into my eyes.

"What are you still doing here?" I demanded, throwing my hands outwards.

His face twisted at what I was saying to him. Edward stood there, too still to be human, and kept staring at me.

I felt my anger go down in a matter of seconds. Wait, was Jasper here or something?

The _whole Cullen family_?

I whirled around defensively, only to see the front door still open, displaying my confrontation with Edward to anyone who walked by.

"You're unbelievable. Leave. My. House. Now." My teeth clenched together as I said the words in a cold, annoyed tone.

Edward looked down and shuffled out the front door in a matter of seconds. "We'll talk later, Bella."

"Don't even think about coming back here again!" I screamed, slamming the door behind him.

**EPOV:**

I wasn't doing the right thing. I wasn't doing the right thing.

I should leave, right now.

But something deeper inside me urged to stay seated at Bella's kitchen table, to just wait until she got here.

My fingers twisted together; this is one of the first times I'd been actually nervous in a while.

Suddenly, I heard thoughts approaching.

Who was it?

I read them carefully, and found out within a matter of seconds.

"Okay, then I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Damn. I knew he would be with Bella.

I was so stupid to think otherwise.

"Yeah, definitely. Bye, Jake. Thanks!" My heart and breathing stopped as I heard Bella's sugar sweet voice.

How I longed to hear that voice so many times before, and now it was finally coming to me.

_Come to me, my Bella._

She would never come to me, I quickly realized. She didn't love me anymore.

She was with _Jacob_. Ugh.

Bella's amazing scent almost pulled me off my chair as she grew closer.

I hadn't smelled that in the longest time; or so it seemed.

It was justifiably odd that it had only been four and a half months since I'd been Bella.

I was snapped out of my trance when I heard the door handle click, and it opened.

There, standing before me, down the hall, was my Bella.

She had just dropped her backpack, and her face now turned to me.

I knew it was going to happen, so I ran over and caught her before she could even touch the ground.

It felt so good to hold her in my arms again.

"Bella?"

Everything was silent except for Bella's rapid, heavy breathing.

Her eyes opened and she stared at me in shock.

"Let go of me," she looked like she was choking on something.

"Bella…" I dropped my arms at her request.

Anything for her.

But I wasn't prepared for what was coming.

"Why the _hell _are you in _my _house?!" Bella screamed.

I shrunk back slightly, utterly surprised at what I was hearing.

Bella never yelled.

"I…I…" I stuttered.

Bella let a hint of amusement play across her face, and I was dumbfounded again.

Before I could even start to comprehend what that meant, she started screaming again.

"You have no reason to be in here! Get out, now!"

I was so confused at what Bella was saying to me, yet I completely understood.

She would never accept me back into her life like nothing had happened. Never.

What was I expecting, then?

Why was I here?

Stupid Alice. I was just hurting Bella more.

My jaw clenched and I struggled to compose my face again. I couldn't let Bella see what I was really thinking.

I looked straight into her eyes for the first time, and nearly melted.

Those chocolate brown eyes I'd wanted to see for so long.

"What are you still doing here?" She shouted, throwing up her hands in frustration.

My face morphed back into that mask of confusion, of anger, of sadness.

So Bella didn't want me back.

Of course.

I knew she wouldn't, but I had never imagined it to be this painful to have her here in front of me, screaming it in my face.

Bella suddenly whirled around, and I thought she was going to stomp back out the door and never come back. Instead, she just looked for a few seconds, and turned back, a new look on her face.

It was cold, hard, and dead. There was no emotion on her face at all.

"You're unbelievable. Leave. My. House. Now." Her flat, dead voice and tensed face showed me she was not joking.

Where did my Bella go?

I just looked at the floor, wishing the Devil could take me right now.

I knew that wasn't the case, and just walked out the door. "We'll talk later, Bella." I couldn't refrain from saying that. I needed to talk to her, to find out what was really wrong.

If it was _just _me, then I'd leave. Or die. Her choice.

"Don't even think about coming back here again!" I heard her last angered words before she shut the door.

I'd rather die.

**HEHEHEHE. So, yes, edward came back (life is complete), but not really in this context... tell me what u think by reviewing :)**

thanks ! (there are more chapters to come)

oh **SHOUT OUT to my friend Kristie, heheheh. (darkicyvampire)**


	11. Chapter 11 Plans

**Disclaimer: Dont own Twilight or any of the characters.**

**BPOV:**

_**Chapter 11:**_

"Alice, you're such an idiot!" I growled, bursting through the front door of my own home.

"Don't call me that!" She protested, and she got up from her current spot on the couch to come stand before me.

Not very wise.

"Alice, how could you! You knew this all along and you didn't tell me! I had no idea what I was in for!" I yelled at her. Any human nearby would have thought something was erupting, although my anger was right now.

"I knew you needed to at least go back," Alice said quietly, taking a step back. "You need to talk this out. You love each other."

"She doesn't love me!" I roared, my knuckles turning whiter and whiter each second.

"Yes she does."

How did Alice have the _nerve _to say this?

I took a deep breath, trying _not _to kill my sister.

"Bella Swan has gotten over me." I stated, closing my eyes and clenching my jaw. "She doesn't love me. I don't know what you're trying to do."

"You just have to work it out with her," she said sweetly. "Just talk. Communication is key."

Right now, I would have been happy to send Alice flying into the couch, or out the back window.

Instead, I regained my composure and stormed out the front door. I didn't get into my car, I started running.

And I didn't stop.

**BPOV:**

I was hyperventilating on the kitchen floor.

How could he come into my house and expect me to love him again?

To fall for him, so he could set his trap once more and leave me again?

No.

I wasn't letting him back in.

"_We'll talk later,"_ means nothing.

I clasped my head together in my hands, and started to sob again.

Just when everything was starting to get back to normal, when I was starting to have fun..

He comes and ruins it.

Monster.

"Bella?" I heard a familiar voice call.

Damnit.

I didn't even hear Charlie come through the door.

"Hi, Dad," I struggled to say.

I quickly lifted myself off the floor, pulling at my mess of tangled hair, desperately wiping my eyes.

He walked into the kitchen seconds later and peered at me, frozen.

I know Charlie didn't like talking about anything having to do with great deals of emotion.

"Are you okay, Bella?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I tripped, just hurt my arm a bit. I'm fine." I lied.

"Okay," he unfroze and shrugged off his jacket. "What's for dinner?"

"Oh," I forced a smile. "I'll get right on it. Pasta okay?"

"Sure," He nodded. "I'm going to go catch the game, Bells."

I nodded as well, turning my attention to the cupboards and searching for some pasta.

Why would Edward do this?

I kept running this question over and over again in my mind.

But then something else hit me.

Jacob.

Jacob couldn't know about this. He would kill him in an instant..

As much as I hated Edward right now, I couldn't let them happen.

I didn't want either of them to die.

I loved Jacob Black, but not in _that _way…

I had no idea why I felt this gravitational pull towards Edward now, I didn't want him to leave, I didn't want anything to happen to him.

But the _nerve _he had!

To sit in my own freaking kitchen table!

_Stop, Bella._

What?

I was utterly confused at first, but then realized that voice that had been talking to me a few weeks ago.

I took one deep breath, and steadied myself.

I made two decisions within that moment.

I would not tell Jacob about Edward coming back.

I would have to talk to Edward, or he'd never leave.

I nodded to myself, reassuring this is what I had to do now, that I can't back myself out of it because it was simply what I needed to do.

Okay.

I shook my head, trying to clear it, and focused on one thing for now: making pasta.

--

**EPOV:**

It had become dark many hours ago.

Yet I stayed in this exact position.

I was sitting, quite simply, on a tree stump in the woods. I didn't know exactly where I was; I had just stopped running an hour ago.

I thought over me and Bella's conversation today, how she had actually _yelled _at me.. and of course Alice didn't tell me anything.

I had one little tiny speck of hope that Bella wouldn't be furious with me, and that was diminished within seconds of seeing her.

I'd never seen Bella yell before, I'd never seen her _that _outraged.

I knew I was that bad. What a stupid idea to come back, to be that moronic as to _sit _at her kitchen table. I should have _at least _stayed my distance, only checking. But no, I took that stupid little pixie's advice, and it had only hurt my love more. And me.

I shut my eyes and pinched the bridge of nose; I didn't plan on going anywhere yet.

But I knew that I had to talk to Bella, or else I couldn't do anything. I wouldn't be able to do anything without at least talking to her.

Once I did, no matter the outcome, I would feel better.

If Bella accepted my apology, I would feel like the luckiest man alive.

If she didn't, that was a different story.

I could get on, I suppose…..

I couldn't.

The Volturi would be the only real answer after Bella said no.

So, if it came to that, I would do it.

I breathed in deeply and felt the itching burn rise from my throat. I needed to hunt.

Catching an elk, I felt a lot better. My mind cleared and I reasoned that I would have to go back now, for my family would be worried.

I would talk to Bella tomorrow, and that was it.

Within minutes, I was home, and heard Alice and Rosalie talking quietly inside.

"Alice, you know how he feels." Rosalie said.

"Yes, I do. But, still, I can see it, they'll be fine. They do need some work though."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

My heart lightened at the very thought of Alice's visions being correct and I waited a few seconds before I opened the front door.

"Edward!" Alice's face lit up and she rushed over to hug me. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you like that…"

"It's okay, Alice. I forgive you." I patted her back.

"Are you going to talk to her?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, tomorrow."

She squealed. "Yay! I know things will be fine. Just give it a try."

I nodded slowly, and pulled back to look at her face.

Alice was always so optimistic, and I couldn't understand how she did it.

Of course, she could see the future. That was a big factor.

But even without that, she was a happy, bright, bubbly, exuberant person, and I could never keep up.

"Promise me you won't leave again." She looked up at me innocently.

"I promise."

Why she needed that promise from me I didn't really know, but I guess it made her feel better, to see if I was lying or not.

I let go of Alice completely and sauntered over to sit on the couch, just to look comfortable, although I would have been completely fine standing.

I thought about Jacob again, that rancid boy who Bella seemed to be hanging around with so much.

Jake would have to go.

I had not the slightest bit of admiration for Jacob, no matter what Bella thought.

I wanted to tear the boy's head off, for God's sakes. Could he be the reason for Bella's sudden behavioral change?

That would have to wait until tomorrow.

**okay, so. just a quick question, do you like the switch between EPOV and BPOV??**

**is it good or annoying?**

**and, what did u think of this chapter? i dont get enough reviews, people! :)**

R&R sil-te-plait


	12. Chapter 12 I Still Love You

**im still utterly suprised at how long this chapter is..**

**Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight or New Moon or any of the characters that i love.**

**BPOV: **

_**Chapter 12:**_

I stood, in my hallway, near the front door of my house.

My head was debating whether this was right or not.

If I went, they would all be surprised. Of course they wouldn't expect me, Edward wouldn't even. Alice would be ecstatic, and Esme would come and give me one of her motherly hugs. Emmett would stand at the top of the stairs with Rosalie, his laugh booming through the house. Carlisle would be at Esme's side in a second, greeting me as well.

I didn't know how Edward would react.

Yesterday, I'd told Jacob I wanted to hang out with him, but now I was changing my mind.. kind of.

Should I go to the Cullen's house, or should I stay with Jacob?

I don't know.

I reminded myself of the things I had to do; not let it slip that Edward was here, and for me to talk to Edward as well.

Charlie was at work, so he wouldn't know anything.

I took a deep breath and ran to my truck. I almost slipped on the ice, but caught the side of my truck in time.

Putting the key in the ignition and the heat on full blast, I reassured myself I had to do this.

I pulled out of the driveway, and headed towards the familiar drive down the tree-engulfed lane.

As soon as I saw the beautiful, white house through the trees, my heart nearly stopped and my breathing hitched.

_Okay, Bella, just go inside._

I shut my eyes for a second, and pulled in their driveway.

I was sure they could hear the roar of my truck and they were all wondering what the deal was.

I took three deep breaths and turned the key in my ignition. The roaring of the engine stopped abruptly, and I closed my eyes again.

Slowly, I reached over to the door handle.

This was so hard for me. I didn't want to get anywhere _near _the Cullens, and yet I was in there freaking driveway.

My car door opened; I hadn't realized I'd pulled down the handle. I put one foot on the snowy ground, and then another. Looking at the white house looming in front of me, I realized how many good memories it held.

And how many bad.

That night when I had cut my finger from opening a harmless Christmas present, and it had turned into something else. Something terrible.

I walked up the driveway, toward the front steps, cautiously. I knew they could all hear me inside, coming, but not one of them came out to greet me.

Were they all home?

I couldn't be sure; they left their expensive cars in the enormous garage.

I gathered up my courage, and it felt like I was carrying a thousand bags just knocking at the door.

One second, and the door flung open.

"Bella!" I heard Alice's familiar voice squeal and she engulfed me in a hug before I had time to realize someone was there. "Ohmygosh! You're here! Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Edward, Bella's here!"

I looked down at the icy front porch, not smiling, not conveying any emotion on my face.

My mouth twisted to the side in a guilty look, even though _I _had absolutely nothing to be guilty for.

"Oh, Bella!" Esme was now hugging me, Carlisle standing at her side, smiling with a content expression. "I've missed you, honey."

I couldn't help but smile, then.

These people were so nice.

It made me wonder what _actually _made them leave before. It seemed like they wanted me now.

"Hello, Bella," Carlisle's gentle but slightly apprehensive voice greeted me.

I could only wave timidly.

"You're going to get freezing cold, Bella!" Alice said incredulously, ushering me inside the warmer house.

It looked just like I had remembered it; with the huge back walls covered with glass, and all the white walls around it. The beautiful, winding staircase at the right hand corner of the room, with the white couch across from it, a wide screen TV in front.

I looked to my left, only to see Emmett and Rosalie holding hands by the bottom of the stairs, and Jasper just a few feet away. I didn't see Edward anywhere, although Alice had called his name.

Oh, so now _he _was mad at me? I didn't think so. I'd find him later.

"Hi, guys," I wavered, my voice coming out more unsure than I'd expected.

They all picked up the sudden atmosphere change, and looked at each other, too fast for humans to comprehend if I hadn't been watching so intently.

"I'm going to get the cookies, honey," Esme said sweetly, looking at me. She disappeared, impossibly fast into the kitchen, and obviously planning to take a bit longer than she should.

"Hey there, Bella!" Emmett's voice boomed from the top of the stairs and I looked up to see him smiling widely, Rosalie glaring at me.

I rolled my eyes and called weakly, "Hi, Emmett."

He noticed my lack of enthusiasm and struggled to keep a smile on his face.

Rosalie glanced at him, and Emmett caught what she was trying to say. He waved feebly and hurried off with Rosalie up the stairs.

Only Jasper and Alice were left, smiling pleasantly.

"So, Bella.." She looked kind of unsure, and for Alice I didn't really think that was possible.

Her next words came out in a huge rush.

"DoyouwanttogotalktoEdward?"

"Uhh.." I shifted my weight uncomfortably and searched around the room for an escape.

_I need to talk to him. I need to talk to him, or else nothing will ever work out._

My fingers twisted together and I was incredibly nervous and hesitant. I looked around the room once more, although I was sure I wouldn't leave.

"Yeah." Those words escaped my mouth and I fought against them, knowing all the while that I shouldn't.

"I'll go get him," Alice said cheerfully, skipping up the steps.

How did someone skip up the steps?

I shrugged, and leaned back against the door, preparing for what was coming.

Nobody was left in the room except for Jasper, who stared at me intently.

"Uh, hi," I said. I had never felt awkward or unsure around a Cullen, except for when I'd first met Edward. But that was because he was beautiful, not awkward or scary.

"Hi, Bella," his face warmed. "I'm glad you came. It's been driving Alice crazy, waiting for you."

I smiled. "Thanks, Jasper."

Seconds later, the whole scene changed.

Jasper was out of sight, and Edward and Alice stood at the top of the stairs.

I took one last breath of much needed air and looked up to see him.

Of course, he was dazzling. Standing there, boring his eyes into mine, I felt like I had to love him again. Was Jasper doing something?

I looked down, not wanting to stare into those perfect eyes any longer.

"Bella," I heard his familiar, velvet voice call out my name like he had many times before.

I glanced up again, only to see Alice gone, and Edward standing at the bottom of the staircase.

"We kind of need to talk." I mumbled.

"I know." His words were firm, but not intimidating.

I know Edward would have come and took my arm in his, but instead, he stayed his distance. Smart choice.

I couldn't define what I was feeling right now.

I felt oddly at peace, like nothing could hurt me now. But I also felt torn apart, like talking to Edward was going to kill me and all my newfound happiness.

He was about ten feet away from me, and swayed his hands toward the couch.

I walked over there first, and he came over a second later, obviously moving very slowly.

I didn't feel comfortable sitting, so I stood by the couch instead.

He was only two feet away from me now, breathing so I could catch his sweet fragrance.

I didn't know where to start, and I thought he didn't, either. Instead, I twisted my mouth in that awkward way, and looked at him again.

Even the image in my mind didn't portray beauty like this.

His face was as pale as ever, with his topaz eyes still dull. He stood like a rock, perfectly still, just looking at me.

When I'd been with him before, his eyes had never seemed dull. They always looked sharp, bright, and sparkling.

For some reason, it pained me to see his expression. It looked almost… dead.

"Edward," I coughed.

"Stop." He pressed a cold finger to my lips, and I didn't do anything.

Just a day ago, I would have pushed it away, and shouted at him not to touch me.

But not today. Today I stayed still.

"Let me apologize. You don't even know what I've done. I left you, Bella, and I swear that was the worst mistake I've ever made. I was being a complete imbecile, making the worst decision ever. I shouldn't have done that to you. I will never do that to you again. I will never leave you unless you command me to do so. I still love you. Those words I said were false. I meant to trick you.

"I should have never tricked you either, Bella. I swear on my life – my _existence _– that I still love you. I will understand if you don't love me back, for all the inexcusable things I've done to you; but don't forget that I will never stop loving you, no matter what your decision is."

My head spun. My balance drifted away from me, and I couldn't make sense of anything that just happened.

All those words. They meant so much.

He still loved me. Those words were untrue. He lied. He still loved me.

The words kept replaying over and over again in my jumbled head, trying to make some sense.

I felt just the way I did when he said he didn't love me, except this was the complete opposite, and it meant much more.

If any other boy had said this to me after doing what Edward did, I would have pushed him away, no problem. I would have just left him, I wouldn't have cared.

But as much as I thought I hated Edward, I couldn't let him go again. He didn't want to let me go, either.

I didn't know how to respond to what he'd just said, so I just stood there looking like an idiot. It also made it that much harder to talk when you knew the whole family could hear everything, including my intensified breathing.

"I don't know what to say." I spoke the truth completely, my words wavering, on the verge of crying, and looked up to meet his eyes.

"I understand." The tone of his voice melted me, and he cast his eyes down. "I'm sorry to have bothered you."

He started walking away, at faster than human pace. "No, Edward! That isn't what I meant! Stop!" I was actually pleading for him to stay now?

What was going on with me?

Edward stopped in his tracks, looking back at me.

"Please explain to me, then," he said, climbing back down the stairs. His tone sounded a bit lighter, and I was glad for that.

"I just don't really know how to explain.." I told him, watching him as he came over to stand before me again.

"Let me help you." He smiled his crooked smile, and I was almost positive I was gawking at him, for he chuckled under his breath.

What? How could I _not _resist that smile?

"Do you forgive me?" The words were simple, yet they held some undercurrent I couldn't really comprehend.

I thought this through thoroughly. I don't know.

Edward wanted me to forgive him, of course, so we could be together again.

Somehow, I wanted to be with him too.

After what he'd done to me still, I wanted just to be with him again, have those simple, love filled days back when.

I wanted those back, and although at the front of my mind, I said I didn't, I knew I did.

"If you don't forgive me, I'll completely understand," he mumbled, his eyes darting down again. "I've been such a monster. I can't even begin to forgive _myself_ for what I've put you through, Bella. I love you."

That was all it took.

I forced him forward, so that I was embedded in his muscular chest. "I forgive you." I choked out the words through my strangled throat.

If you could hear someone smile, I know he would be doing just so right now. "I will never let you go again, Bella Swan. I swear on my existence. I swear.. I swear.."

I smiled, tears happily flowing down my cheeks now. They soaked his shirt, but of course, he didn't mind. "Don't ever leave."

"I won't." He instinctively held me tighter. "Never again."

**so, i didnt even struggle to make this chapter long, it just happened..**

**hope you liked it!! please review, because i don get nearly as many reviews as i do hits/visitors.**

(its not over yet) :D


	13. Chapter 13 Back to Normal?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon or any of the wonderful characters Stephenie Meyer has created.**

**BPOV:**

_**Chapter 13:**_

"This isn't good," I informed Edward, sitting on his perfect white couch. "Jacob's going to snap your head off."

"You wish," he chuckled. "I could –"

"Don't even think about it," I said, glaring at him.

He nodded and looked down. "I'm sorry."

How many times did he have to say that?

"It's okay," I automatically responded, picking up a cookie.

I was in the Cullens' living room, eating the cookies that Esme had finally 'made'. I was sitting beside Alice and Emmett on the couch, I was sandwiched in the middle. Rosalie was nowhere to be seen, and Jasper was sitting on a leather chair straight across from Alice. Edward was on the other side.

"I'm glad you're here," Emmett squeezed my shoulder tight. "Everything's a lot more fun with you around."

"Thanks, Em." I managed to say, although being squeezed by a big, burly vampire made it a lot harder.

"Me too!" Alice cried, throwing her arms around my neck. "More shopping, makeovers, trips to the mall.."

I groaned.

"Oh, you'll get used to it," she assured me, rubbing my shoulders.

Somehow, I was already used to it, but just didn't want to tell her.

Being with the Cullens again felt so normal, like nothing could go wrong. Like all those days back then could suddenly go on as if nothing could happen.

I was happy, and I realize how terribly wrong I was.

Believing that I was fine without Edward, that I didn't need him anymore.. I was all wrong.

I looked at him, and he smiled his crooked smile.

I knew things weren't perfect, yet. If Jacob found out Edward was here now, some huge war would erupt between them; they would literally rip each other's heads off.

I didn't want that to happen.

I popped another chocolate chip cookie in my mouth; they were good. How could Esme be such a good cook when she couldn't really taste them?

"These are good, Esme," I said, breaking the comfortable silence.

"Thank you, dear," she gushed, smiling warmly.

I knew that Jacob would find out Edward was here sooner or later. There was really no way of keeping it from him, since starting tomorrow, Edward would be taking me to school. What was I going to do?

"Edward, can I talk to you for a second?" I asked, getting up from the couch.

"Sure," he nodded, leading me upstairs while the rest of the family waited patiently.

"What's the problem?" he asked, closing the door to his room.

I stood in the middle of it, on the luscious royal blue carpet. My hands balled into tight fists.

"I don't know what to do." I told him flatly, as he came closer.

"About what?" He questioned, his eyes displaying concern. "What is it?"

"Jacob." I glanced down at the floor as an icy hand took mine.

Neither of us spoke for a second, and I guessed we both didn't know what to do.

"Jacob won't hurt you," he said.

"I'm not worried about him hurting me. I'm worried about him hurting you. Or you hurting him. Or me not being able to see you." I told him quietly.

His eyes looked pained as he heard this.

I felt the sudden urge to hug him, to tell him I forgave him for everything he did to me, no matter what it was like.

But he did it first.

Both arms wrapped around my back, holding me closer to him, so I could smell his beautiful fragrance. I wanted to stay in that position forever, where I felt so at ease, so safe, so protected, so loved.

"I love you," I mumbled so low I meant for him not to hear.

"I love you too, Bella Swan," So he heard me. Ugh. "You can't even begin to realize what being away from you did to me."

"Same here." I didn't mean to ruin the moment, but that was the absolute truth. He needed to know it.

I could feel Edward's body tense, but he didn't let go. And I was glad for that.

"I'm going to have to tell Jacob," I said, and he pulled back to look at me.

"Right now?" Edward asked, still holding my hands.

"No, not now." I smiled. "I'm not leaving now."

"I'm not leaving ever," He let go of one of my hands, and led me out of his room.

We went back downstairs again, where we were greeted by Alice jumping up and down at the sight of us holding hands.

"Hey, they still love each other!" Emmett boomed.

Edward growled in response.

I grinned, in perfect bliss. This is exactly where I wanted to be right now.

--

I was in the kitchen, preparing dinner for Charlie. Edward sat at the kitchen table, smiling happily while watching me.

His grin disappeared in a few seconds, though. "Charlie will be home in five minutes."

Before I had time to protest, he came over and kissed my head. "I won't be far."

And in a flash, he was gone.

How could I have forgiven him so easily?

My head was confused, leaving me with no answer. I still couldn't get it past myself that I actually thought I could live without him, not think about him anymore.

And I still didn't know what to do about Jacob. Edward hadn't given me an answer; he'd given me comfort. I needed that too, but I needed the solution most.

Maybe I would go down to La Push tomorrow and flat out tell him.

No, Edward wouldn't let me..

Would I make him come to my house, with Edward here too?

No, Jacob would surely break something, either a bone, or the house.

I'll just wait for Edward's opinion.

"Hey, Bells?" Charlie called as I heard the front door open.

"Hi, Dad!" I said.

Wait.

He didn't know that Edward had come back. He would be absolutely furious if he knew.

"How are ya, kid?" Charlie was standing in the kitchen doorway this time, looking right at me.

I struggled to hide my overall happiness.

If I was happy all of a sudden, and Charlie didn't know the answer, what would he think?

That something was wrong. Or right.

But he would think it was wrong.

"Okay," I looked back down at the chicken sizzling, and tried to make my face more monotone.

"Alright." He said weakly, sitting down at the table.

"It'll be ready in five minutes," I told him cheerily.

Ugh!

Did I have to lose it that quick?

"Okay," Charlie's voice perked up. "You feeling better, Bells?"

I squeezed my eyes closed.

Exactly the question I wanted to be asked. "Yeah."

"Hanging out with Jake is really helping, huh?"

"For sure." I smiled now, turning to him as I poured chicken on to each of our plates, along with some lettuce and rice.

I sat down across from him, less frightened of the interrogation to come.

"So, Bells," He picked at his chicken. "No words from the Cullens, eh?"

"No." I let my hair fall over my ears so I could hide my smile.

"Okay." He seemed to let the subject drop fairly easily, shoveling food back into his mouth.

"Yup," I muttered.

We ate in silence for at least ten minutes, and it wasn't the comfortable type of silence, either.

I knew Charlie suspected something was up, but I didn't know what.

I had one suspicion that I hoped he didn't actually think was true: That I was going out with Jacob.

I kept running over scenarios in my mind when Charlie found out that Edward was back.

He would be angry. Very, very angry. I could almost see the purple and blue tone of his face when he saw Edward.

When I realized I had finished everything on my plate, I took it back to the sink and washed it off, doing Charlie's shortly after.

"I'm gonna go watch some TV, Bells," he said, stretching. "Thanks for the dinner."

"No problem," I assured him. "I'm gonna go upstairs and check some emails."

He nodded and walked into the living room, no suspicion at all.

I wasn't going upstairs to check emails, I was going to talk to Edward.

As soon as I opened the door to my room and flicked on the lights, I saw him sitting on the edge of my bed, looking reserved and thoughtful, but automatically looked up when I took a step forward and shut my door.

"Hey," I said quietly.

He smiled and his tawny eyes sparkled.

Perfect. Just like I wanted them to be.

His arms opened, inviting me to come into them.

I accepted this invitation thankfully, and was snuggled in his arms, thinking of how to tell him.

"We still haven't figured out what we're going to do about Jacob," I said, tilting my chin so I could see a bit of his face.

He looked perplexed.

"Maybe I could talk to him," Edward suggested.

"No." I automatically said. "I don't think that would turn out well."

"You're probably right," he agreed, smiling his crooked smile.

I smiled back. "I think _I _should talk to him. Alone."

"Don't think for a second that I'm letting you near him alone," Edward held me tighter.

I smiled even wider knowing how much he cared about me. "He won't hurt me."

"You never know."

"He won't hurt me," I insisted.

"Bella." His voice was firm as he pulled back the tiniest bit to look me in the eyes. "Not alone."

"Meh." I sunk back into his chest, trying to plan how this would work out.

"Are you tired?" He asked suddenly.

"Yeah, kind of," I answered.

"Then you're going to sleep," he let me down softly on the bed as he got up put me under the covers. In a matter of seconds he lay down beside me, making me cold but unnaturally happy at the same time.

"I'll talk to him soon," I mumbled, on the verge of deep sleep.

"Not by yourself." He reminded me.

Then he chuckled, kissed my hair, and let me fall asleep peacefully.

**Did you likeeee? If so, please review! thanks to all the people who do review, because it helps a lot and definitely gives me encouragement to keep writing. I'm planning for the next few chapters to have a lot more to do with Jacob.. **

**Not telling ya what! Keep reading to find out (sure to be intense, very intense...muachachacha) **

**Im trying to update as much as possible, although i know the next 2 nights will be very busy.. i'll try (need reviews, though! :)**


	14. Chapter 14 Back Again

**alrighty, here's the long chapter: (i swear its long, 11 pages) :D**

_**Chapter 14:**_

**BPOV:**

"Edward?" I muttered, half asleep, searching the bed for his cold form.

"Yes, love," he said in a low voice. "I'm right here."

He took my hand gently, leaving that electric current passing through it.

I hid my face to smile, but apparently he saw the corners of my lips lifting, and he chuckled under his breath.

"Are you willing to go to school today?" Edward asked.

I moaned. "I guess so. Does anybody know you're back?"

"No." He said quietly. "I guess they'll find out."

"That'll be wonderful," I complained. "We'll walk into school, holding hands – do you know what that will do? I was miserable on Friday. Now they're going to see me coming back to school all happy, holding hands with Edward Cullen. That's going to create some serious talk. Serious talk that anybody in Forks or _La Push _will hear."

He seemed speechless, but after a few seconds, said something. "You're right."

He dropped my hand, and I could barely hear him lift himself off my bed.

"I didn't mean it like that, Edward," I pressed. "Come on. I'm just saying…"

"I know what you mean, Bella," he said, standing before me, looking into my eyes. "It's just that I don't want to cause such a disturbance."

"Yeah," I looked down at the slightly crinkled bed-sheets. "How are we going to plan this?"

His eyes blinked slowly, exaggerated – for him – and his topaz eyes smoldered. "We're going to go to school."

"Edward!" I jumped out of bed. "That's not going to work"

"Bella, please. This will work out." His eyes pleaded, and I couldn't resist.

"Fine." I was surprised I'd accepted so easily, but then tried not to dwell too much on what was going to happen at school today. "Give me about ten human minutes, please."

He smiled and left the room. "Your wish is my command."

I sat in bed, on the edge of hyperventilating, debating whether he truly loved me.

Edward had said sorry so many times, he'd pleaded so many times; his face was always full of guilt, self-hatred and remorse whenever I brought up something that merely suggested having to do within the time period of his absence.

It was hard to believe, but by now, I was sure he wasn't going to let go again. I wanted that. I needed it.

I picked out a pair of jeans with a yellow polo – a _bit _better, considering how Alice would pick on me nonetheless. I made my way downstairs to the kitchen table, where Edward was perched perfectly on the wooden chair, his eyes expectant.

"Ready to go?" He asked, grinning.

I shut my eyes and bit my lip. "No."

A cold arm wound around my waist within a second. "Everything will be fine." He whispered into my ear.

I shivered, hoping he wouldn't notice and release his grip.

But he did.

"I apologize," he said, gliding over to the closet to retrieve my raincoat.

I shrugged it on and did it up tight. Once I did that and felt the least bit warmer, I hugged him.

"We can go now."

He laughed again, and led me out the door, towing me by the waist.

But I should have known.

A shiny silver Volvo was parked in the driveway behind my red truck.

Now everyone would know.

They would know that the Cullens were back, and that Bella Swan was riding with them.

I didn't even try to picture what problems this could create.

"Edward," I groaned. "Everyone's going to know."

"Do you want me to carry you on my back as I run?" He mocked, smiling his crooked smile.

"No," I blubbered. "I'm fine. Let's go."

As soon as we were strapped in tight, I realized something.

"Where are Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie?"

"They're taking Emmett's jeep."

"Oh."

Did the Cullens want to create a fancy way to welcome themselves back to Forks High School?

I could only imagine the countless faces gawking at the cars, realizing who was in them.

And why Bella Swan didn't have a ride from Jacob.

School started in fifteen minutes; I didn't quite realize why we were in the car so early. We could be at school in two minutes with the Cullens' reckless driving.

"Jacob," I breathed, remembering how he would pick me up in five.

Edward looked perplexed. "What is it?"

"He picks me up at every morning at 8:20. That's in five minutes. What if he comes here and sees _my _car there, and me not here?"

"That's a problem," Edward agreed.

I just nodded. "Should I go with Jacob this morning, and then meet you at school?"

"That sounds good." He didn't sound too happy with this, but he nodded and agreed anyway. "I'll be waiting," he said as I got out of the toasty Volvo reluctantly.

I waved and smiled, standing in the icy driveway, waiting for three more minutes until he came.

Once Edward had waved one more time and successfully gone around the corner, a single tear escaped my eye. I didn't know what was going to happen between Jacob and Edward, and I didn't want it to be bad. I wanted them to resolve it easily, to move on. I knew Jacob wouldn't let up that easily, and that's what troubled me.

My deep thoughts were interrupted by a slight screeching of tires against ice as Jake and his Rabbit came barreling down the street. He pulled into my driveway at the last second, threatening to hit my truck.

"Jake!" I yelled, starting to walk towards his car.

I saw him in the front seat and couldn't help but smile. He was grinning so wide that I thought his face might be frozen like that.

I climbed in the front seat and instantly found the warmth that was his car. Of course it was two things; the heat that was on full blast, probably just for me, and Jacob's natural body heat.

"Hey, Bells!" he sounded happy.

I tried not to think that he was going to be very unhappy in just a few minutes.

"Hi, Jake," I said quietly, quieter than I'd hoped for. "Let's go."

"Sure thing," he kept grinning as he backed widely out of my driveway, not really looking. I tensed as he sped up out the ice-laden streets.

So, once we got to school, Jacob would drop me off at the regular spot. At the student parking lot. The building containing my lockers, and surprisingly, Edward's locker, was right there. So surely Edward would be waiting here, outside his car.

This was not going to be good, especially since Jake didn't even go to school here. The principal could come out yelling, depending on what happens. Jacob goes to the Quileute Community School, and seeing him here fighting with a seventeen year old wouldn't be good.

I had to stop this somehow. I couldn't let them kill each other.

My stomach churned and I was feeling dizzy as soon as we entered the student parking lot.

"Jake…" I glanced over the parking lot, finding Edward's silver Volvo standing out near the front. Damnit. Why didn't he park at the back?

Jacob took a glance over to where I was looking, and he stopped the car.

"Who the _hell _is that standing there?" Jake's voice was incredulous.

I didn't have anything to say. I just sat there, staring at Edward and the way he leaned so easily against his car. I guessed that as soon as he heard Jacob's thoughts, he looked in my direction. It was visible even from here that his eyes tightened and his jaw clenched.

I took a deep breath.

"Jake, don't be mad. I can explain. He can explain."

I stole a look at him, and that was a mistake. His face was of sheer hatred and distaste.

"Jake – really, don't be that way," I pressed, my voice starting to turn pleading. "Don't do anything you'll regret."

He didn't listen to me.

Instead, he parked the car, and shut it off. Then he opened the door and started to walk over to where Edward was standing.

I shut my eyes, but then quickly realized I'd have to do something. I opened my door as quickly as I could and scrambled out, slipping on the icy blacktop once or twice. But I didn't care who was looking, or who saw that Edward Cullen and his family were back in Forks.

There was only a few feet between Edward and Jacob now, the look on their faces both insanely angry.

I started to run, begging in my mind for nobody to hurt anyone.

"Jacob," Edward began. His tone was calm and cool. "There is no reason to do anything you'll regret. If you even try to, I could break your neck in a fraction of a second."

Edward's voice was patronizing, dark, and the look on his face was the same. It reminded me of the first day I'd seen him, sitting in the biology lab, me beside him. His fists were clenched, white, tendons sticking out under his pale skin. He looked like he wasn't breathing. And the glares he gave me. I remembered them so clearly.

"Edward, please!" I found my own voice, wavering. "Don't do anything!"

By now, at least twenty people had gathered around us, not so close as to actually tell they were watching the fight, but just a few cars away, walking very slowly past the cars, all eyes on us.

Jacob shot me a condescending look, showing that I shouldn't say anything. But I couldn't let this happen with me standing right here.

"You expect to be _welcomed _back to Forks?" Jacob was yelling so loud. "You think _Bella _wants you back? After what you did to her? You think that anyone in this town would really like the _Cullens _back?" He spat the word _Cullens_, emphasizing his revulsion to them.

"Jacob," Edward was firm. "I understand what you are trying to say. But I have already talked to Bella about this and – "

"What?!" Jacob shouted. "You already talked to Bella?"

"Jake, I'm not your girlfriend," I said weakly, stepping in a bit.

But clearly, that was the wrong thing to say.

His face grew even more red, his teeth grinding together. "You're not _his _girlfriend!"

I didn't say anything, and just looked down.

"Listen, Jacob," Edward said, his voice rigid. "I've already talked to Bella about this. She doesn't feel any differently than I do."

"Oh, how do you feel?" He threw his arms in the air, looking as if he'd gone crazy.

"I feel that if Bella is ready to accept me back into her life, then I will come back. Only under her wish, though. And she has wished that."

I could tell Jake was about to lose it now.

"Jake!" I screamed, not knowing what to do, so I thrust my hands outwards.

But it was too late.

Jacob had taken a swipe for Edward's face, but of course Edward wouldn't have any of that.

He quickly took his arm and pinned along with his other arm around his back, and pushed him down onto another vehicle.

It was silent except for Jacob's faint growling. "Let me go, Cullen."

Edward glanced at me, and I could only nod my head softly.

Jacob was freed at once, and he took another elbow for Edward's face, which of course, didn't work.

Edward simply pushed his elbow back down with a shove, chuckling.

This was the angriest I'd ever seen Jacob before.

He looked at me, and immediately I wanted to hide behind Edward and be protected.

My sunshine had turned into cloud. Big, red, mad clouds.

"Jacob…" I whimpered, then stopped, hearing how pathetic I sounded.

"Leave it, Bella," he fumed. "You accept him back into your life like that. You do that. You wait until he hurts you again."

And with that, he walked back to his car, started it, and sped off – literally.

The people who were watching started to leave, realizing it was over.

Of course, there were a lot of things they could talk about. How I was 'going out with Jacob', how I'd dumped him for Edward, how the Cullens had come back so suddenly, how Edward was still with me, how Jacob and Edward had a disagreement. There were a lot of things bored high school students could conjure up.

I glanced at Edward, who looked resentful. "I'm.. sorry, Bella."

Those words nearly sent me to ears. "No, it's my fault."

"It's not your fault, Bella. This was all mine. I should have never left you, never, and now look what it's done.. I'm so sorry. I don't know how to apologize."

"Edward, stop it," I urged, not wanting to hear him say those words anymore. "It's fine. He's just overreacting. I'll talk to him later or something."

Edward looked up at me this time, his eyes turning cold. "Not by yourself."

I rolled my eyes, moving a step closer to him. "Let's go to class."

He nodded, and then said, "You don't know what sort of crazy rumors all these foolish high school students have."

"I don't really want to know," I reminded him, taking his frigid arm. "They're all stupid, anyways."

He was silent for a second. "You're absolutely right," he agreed, his tone low.

My heart beat at least fifty times faster when we entered the school, having every single face turning to look at us, eyes wide, staring like we were unicorns, some sort of oblivious mythical creature.

There was a mythical creature, I reminded myself, by my side. But he wasn't a unicorn.

Edward dropped me off at my locker. "I'll see you at your next class."

And with that, he left, striding off down the hall, looking so perfect that anybody in the same hall was put to shame.

I smiled and gathered my books, heading off to first period English. I tried to ignore the gaping faces, and entered quickly, apparently surprising everyone.

All the kids were in groups around the classroom, huddled together in intense gossip, but that stopped abruptly when I came in.

They looked up at me with innocent faces, but I could see beneath them.

I tried to ignore it and just sat down at the back of the class. But, I also hadn't got rid of my golden retriever friend.

"Hey, Bella," he said, smirking. "Cullens are back?"

"Yeah, I guess," I replied, shrugging.

"You're back with him, too?" He seemed skeptical.

I didn't even answer, I just shrugged again.

Mike shook his head and turned his attention elsewhere. I felt bad.

But I knew I shouldn't, because the only thing that mattered right now was Edward and I.

It didn't matter what anyone else thought. It didn't matter. I had to chant this at least twenty times until our teacher came in the room, demanding silence.

I sat by myself, which I was grateful for, and pretended to listen to the teacher drone on.

By the end of the class, I was sure everyone had prepared their vicious rumors for the next people to be heard. That wouldn't be such a problem, getting them around, because this school was so small. That wasn't necessarily a good characteristic.

When something happened, everyone heard about it.

And I bet nobody would be able to accept our relationship, or the odd fact that the Cullens were back.

Jacob certainly wouldn't.

As far as I was concerned, he would be mad at me forever.

My personal sunshine; my troubled clouds.

**howwww was that? that took me a long time to write haha. it was 11 pages on word, so yes, i am quite proud of myself lol. **

**keep reviewing and more will come :)**


	15. Chapter 15 AND 16 Uh Ohs

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. **

_Chapter 15:_

**BPOV:**

"You're not going to be able to escape from him forever, you know," Edward said, placing his cool, marble hand in mine.

"I know," I replied, looking down. "I don't know how to confront him about it, though. He won't answer my phone calls, and Billy won't deliver any messages to him. And you won't let me go down to La Push."

"I think it's better if you didn't go down there by yourself, Bella," Edward looked at me, his eyes smoldering. "I don't know what could happen. Alice doesn't, either."

"I know," I said weakly. "I just don't know what to do."

He looked thoughtful for a minute, staring out the window at the gloomy skies. Then his eyes cast down to the floor, a tense expression on his face I couldn't quite understand.

"Are you thinking about letting me go?" I pleaded, trying on my puppy dog face. I knew that wasn't going to work with him, but I tried it anyway.

"No." He answered bluntly. "But I am thinking of something else…"

"What?" I asked eagerly.

Ever since Edward and Jake's confrontation in the parking lot yesterday, I was worried sick. I barely got a wink of sleep, even with Edward by my side. I thought Jacob and I were never going to get this resolved, and since he wouldn't have any form of contact with me, it didn't look like it.

So, basically, Edward thought I looked sick. He knew why, of course. And now, being Edward, he thought I should talk to him. Which still surprised me.

"What's your idea?" I asked again, leaning forward over the kitchen table.

"I was thinking.." He swiftly looked down at me, a smile playing on the corners of his lips. "Maybe he could come up here to see you. But you know I'd be close by."

"How close by?" I questioned, thinking over how I didn't want them to see each other.

"Probably in the forest, or your backyard. Somewhere where he can't see me."

"Yes, that would be good," I said, smiling. "Are you going to let me?"

Edward squinted, and took a deep breath. "Yes."

I was grinning now, holding both of his cold, white hands in mine. "Thank you, Edward."

I stood up, and he did so in the exact same second, reaching me before I could stand by him. He leaned down and his wintry lips pressed against mine casually.

It wasn't just a casual kiss, though, for me. Every time that happened, no matter how many times we'd done it, my heart would beat at least three thousand times faster, and I would blush a million different shades of red.

"You're welcome," he said in a low voice, and he chuckled.

"Wait," I froze. "How am I going to convince Jacob to come up and see me?"

Edward looked deep in thought, once again. But his expression quickly cleared. "Just tell him that it's _very _important."

"You don't think I've tried that?"

"Try it again."

And so I did, because Edward's melting voice made me. I walked somberly over to the phone and slowly dialed the familiar number that was Billy Black's residence.

After three rings, a recognizable husky voice picked up, sounding slightly out of breath. "Hello?"

"Uhh," I stuttered. "Hi, Jacob."

"Bella," he said in a condescending tone. I heard Edward growl behind me.

"Jacob," I replied, trying to lighten it up. "Can you come see me?"

"You think I want to come see you?" He half-growled. "No doubt the bloodsucker's gonna be there, too. I'm not coming anywhere near _them_." He spat.

"I.. I just want to talk to you," I struggled to keep my voice even. "Please, Jake. I have a lot to explain to you, and I fear telling you over the phone won't help."

It was silent for a moment. "That stupid leech better not be there."

I heard the _click _of the phone line going dead.

I would have been jubilant that he was finally coming to see me, but instead, I was dreadful.

"Bella?" Edward's concerned voice was at my side in an instant. "Are you alright?"

I nodded helplessly.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I felt a pair of cold arms lock around my waist.

"I have to," I tried, even though I knew my voice wasn't convincing.

"Not if you don't want to," he pressed, leaning in to rest his face against the top of my head.

I was motionless for a second there, with Edward so close to me, still sending an electric pulse through my veins. But he moved again, surprising me by standing by the back door.

"He's here," he informed me, in a low tone. "I'll be close."

And with that, he disappeared out my back door silently.

I took a deep breath and fumbled towards the front hall, trying to keep my balance as a knock on the door startled me, even though I knew it was coming.

I shut my eyes once, and opened the front door.

Jacob was standing on my porch, looking really wet.

"Come inside," I tried to smile, but it didn't work that well.

He nodded and took a step in, looking around, then shrugging off his dark green raincoat.

I led him into the kitchen, because that was closest to the back door.

"Jacob," I said, standing by the kitchen table.

"Look, Bella," he shot a glare at me from piercing eyes. "Say what you need to say."

"As you know," I began, in a strained tone. "Edward and I love each other."

"I know _that_," Jacob gritted his teeth, his fists balling tight.

"Yeah.." I struggled to stop from crying, or something else I would regret. "Well, I don't think you're being fair for not accepting it. You don't know what Edward thinks."

"_Me, _not being _fair_?" I knew he was really angry now. "The bloodsucker's the one who wasn't being fair! He left you, Bella! And now he comes back, trying to make you love him again so he can brainwash you and leave you in pieces, again. I know this, Bella. Don't pretend you don't, either."

_His_ words tore me to pieces.

"I.. I.." I could feel the hot, indignant tears brimming under my eyelids. "He loves me."

"You _think_ that," Jacob said, taking a step closer toward me. "You can think that. It's not true, and I know it."

I was scared of him now. He looked so menacing, coming towards me like that.

"Jacob…" I warned him, knowing that Edward was just outside, listening, probably ready to burst in the door any second.

"Don't tell me what to do, Bella." He took one last step toward me, and I was almost sure I was about to get hurt – really badly. I braced myself, ready for a punch that would surely leave marks.

My eyes were open, not able to close, and I saw him take one last step, and raise his fist. It was only centimeters away from my innocent face now, and I was sure it was going to hurt.

But just as I thought the impact was coming, it didn't. I waited for it, but nothing happened. I popped open one eye, and saw a long, white arm in front of me, blocking Jacob's russet fist.

"Edward…" I breathed, holding onto the counter for support.

"I know what you were about to do, mongrel." His voice was easily recognizable.

I swear I thought I heard Jacob growl, and Edward's returning growl was even stronger.

"You don't love her!" He shouted, and I grimaced.

Edward hadn't moved a fraction of an inch, his arm outstretched, protecting me.

"You don't know anything," Edward's voice was hard.

"It's true," Jacob pressed. "I know it! You shouldn't be around her! You shouldn't even be back in Forks!"

Edward growled, and normally anyone who didn't want to be obliterated would back off.

But not Jacob.

Edward released his grip around Jacob's arm, and backed away towards the table, inviting Jake to follow him, away from me. Away from where I could get hurt.

"Talk it out," I managed to squeak.

Edward turned his head the slightest bit to look at me, worry and pain evident in his topaz eyes.

I wanted to step in between them, and I almost did, but something told me not to; that it would not be helping.

"Listen, Jacob," Edward started, his voice calm. "I know what you're thinking."

"Of course you do, you filthy leech," Jacob spat. "Don't think that's going to change my mind."

"I want you to know that I love Bella," he said, measuring Jacob's reaction. "I love her. I'm not lying. I swear, on my life, that Bella Swan loves me, too. I'm not about to leave and make her lifeless again. We both need each other. I am not leaving unless she orders me to."

Jacob's eyes narrowed and his fists were getting balled tighter by the second.

"You can't prove anything to me." His teeth ground together.

Edward sighed and bowed his head, clearly becoming fed up with all the nonsense Jacob was giving to him.

"Jacob, how – "

"I love him," I interjected, trying to make my voice sound strong. "I love Edward, Jacob."

Slowly, Jake's head turned to glare at me. "Don't say that, Bella."

"I love Edward," I repeated. "I love Edward Cullen."

Jacob started to shake, and he unexpectedly pounded his fist against my kitchen table. "God damnit, Bells! I know you don't! Stop lying!"

Tears started flowing out of my eyes; I couldn't stop them. "Jacob, please – "

"Shutup, Bella! You're just saying that because _he's _here!"

I was breathing heavily and the tears were now coming out of my eyes effortlessly.

"Jacob Black."

I froze for a single second, trying to figure out who's voice that was.

I looked up, and saw Edward glaring at Jacob forebodingly. His voice was so menacing I would have never thought Edward was speaking.

"You have absolutely _no right _to talk to Bella that way. I love her, and she loves me. You're going to have to get that through your foolish, idiotic little head. I'm sorry, Jacob Black, but it's true. That is my final word. No more arguing."

I was almost positive that Jacob was going to walk out the door, right there and then. But he didn't.

He stayed in place, trembling so hard I thought he might explode.

But then, he surprised me once more.

Jacob sunk to the ground, sobbing.

What?

Edward looked shocked, too, that his words had so much force upon Jacob.

"Jake.. I'm.. sorry.." I mumbled, moving closer to Edward.

Edward looked apprehensive as he ushered me behind his arms, and then he held them out in front of me, as a safety act.

Jacob was still a sobbing mess on the floor, clearly changed by Edward's words.

"Bells.." I heard Jacob say in a strained voice. He looked up, and I saw his tear-stained face, long, dark hair a mess around it. "I'm sorry."

I was so moved by those words that I tried to move Edward's arms out of the way, but of course that didn't work. I snuck underneath them instead, and crawled towards Jacob.

"Jacob, I'm really sorry," I began. "This is the truth. I'm really sorry if I did anything to hurt you. Please forgive me."

"No, Bella," Jacob said. He had gathered some of his thoughts. "I shouldn't have been so mean to you and.. and.. and Edward. I know it's true, that you love each other. I didn't want to accept it. I'm sorry, Bella. But you have to know, that I love _you_."

"I love you in a brother way, Jake," I said softly, silently pleading for him to understand.

"I know," A grin tugged at the corners of his mouth, and I smiled.

I stuck out a hand towards him, and he took it gladly, the warmth saturating off of him at his casual touch.

We both stood up and turned to face Edward, who was smiling pleasantly as well.

"Say sorry?" I suggested, looking at Edward and Jacob.

"Nope. Not yet," Jacob grinned, glancing at me.

I shrugged. "Sooner or later."

Edward nodded slowly.

"I should probably get home," Jacob scratched the back of his neck. "I can't believe that I cried."

Edward chuckled, and I smiled wider. "Real men cry."

As I said this, I shot a glance at Edward, who was laughing louder.

"Bye, Jake," I said, as he started to walk towards the front hall. "See you later."

"Definitely," he replied, opening the door. But he stopped in the doorway, looking at me intently. "I'm really sorry, Bells. Accept my apology."

"No problem," I assured him, patting him on the shoulder. "I'll see you soon."

He nodded and turned to walk to his car. As soon as he started it up, waved, and sped off down the street, I shut the door and turned around, where I knew Edward would be.

"Good job," he smiled my absolute favourite crooked smile, and my heart pumped louder.

He leaned down once more, placing his icy marble lips on mine, for longer this time.

Edward pulled back after, raising his hand to run his pale hand through my hair.

"Thanks," I smiled out of joy. "I did my best."

"And you did well."

**oooh... thanks for reading! ill probably do one or two more chapters, but then i think the story will end. please review!**


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